To have or to not have flower girl and ring bearer?

posted 4 months ago in Traditions
Post # 2
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I think they’re adorable but you don’t really sound like you want them, and you also don’t sound like you know who you’d use. I think skip it in this case.

Post # 3
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I definitely wouldn’t have a ring bearer or flower girl if you don’t know any children well enough. They aren’t mandatory. We didn’t have any because there were no children we knew well enough or were old enough. 

Post # 4
856 posts
Busy bee

I didn’t have any and did not regret it. I knew lots of kids, but the ones I would’ve wanted were too young. I didn’t want to ask random kids for the sake of having them.

Mydecision was reconfirmed a few months before my wedding when I was part of another wedding. The flower girl wanted to quit an hour before the wedding and had a huge melt down. The only way they could bribe her to walk down the eisle was by promising to have a sleep over at the bride and grooms house after honeymoon. It can be a very long day for kids! Another perk of not having them, is that you don’t need to get gifts for them, which can help your budget!

Post # 5
983 posts
Busy bee

I had plenty to choose from, and didn’t have any. No regrets.

Post # 6
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m not having either at my wedding since I don’t really know many children and I think it will be more then okay. 

Post # 7
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’m not having them.

Post # 8
147 posts
Blushing bee

They aren’t mandatory.  Kids are cute but also unpredictable.  Didn’t want to deal with any drama from a four year old on my wedding day, so we aren’t having either.

Post # 9
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

We had 2 ring bearers (DH’s very cute nephews) but no flower girl bc we weren’t close to a young girl who would fit that role. We could have found someone, of course, but we only wanted close friends/family in the wedding. It worked out just fine like that, and actually it was one less thing to coordinate!

Post # 10
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I am not having them. The decision was made after my sisters wedding. 

The flower girl refused to do her hair and walk down the aisle. The ring bearers were over tired and ruined all the pictures. 

I don’t think it’s worth it. They’re cute but non essential. 

Post # 11
695 posts
Busy bee

Not engaged yet but I don’t think I will have any because there are too many little ones to choose from and I wouldn’t want to have to narrow it down and hurt feelings.  I’ve been to plenty of weddings where there were none.

Post # 12
927 posts
Busy bee

zombeee :  I agree that flower girls & ring bearers are adorable but definitely not essential.  We opted not to have either.  I have seen kids get bored at weddings and start making noise.  I didn’t want to deal with the hassle of involving kids or want the worry of a child potentially being disruptive.  For reference, I adore children and I have worked with them for many years.  So, it’s not like I’m not a kid person – I just didn’t want to worry about it on my wedding day.  

ETA: even the best-behaved kids have their off days.  I would’ve have been pretty unhappy if our wedding ended up being one of those days. 

Post # 13
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Not essential. We are having flower girls because we want to include FI’s nieces, but no ring bearers because we don’t know any little boys to ask. 

No need for you to have them just for the sake of having them. 

Post # 15
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I’m not having any either! i have 9 nieces and nephews, and they have all aged past the flower girl / ring bearer stage. I am making my 3 nieces junior bridesmaids though, and I don’t think any of my nephews (ages 13-20) are into wedding party activities so that is fine lol.


Only serious consideration i have made for flower girl / ring bearer are our 2 dogs lol. But there are just too many logistical issues!

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