- 2 years ago
P.s. not looking for hateful comments, this is part of a tradition whether I like it or not.
I don’t know if this is used in any other culture, but I come from a hispanic background and it’s tradition to have people, called “padrinos” which are part of the wedding party.
Background: They help with some of the wedding costs. I don’t know if there’s a correct English translation for that, but I’ll assume it’s godparents. So for example there’s ring godparents which pay for all or part of the wedding ring cost, reception godparents, or music godparents that pay for dj or band, etc.
My SO and I are not big fans of that tradition because first of all we feel wierd asking, even if they’re close family or we’re comfortable with each other, and secondly SO feels like we’re going to owe them a favor so in the future if they want us to be godparents and for some reason we are struggling financially, he’s going to feel very bad saying no and he’s worried it would upset them (we would definetly say yes to anyone, but this would be if we’re just in a really bad place). But I don’t know if we just have these thoughts because we are younger and not used to that tradition, whereas all the older people see it as completely normal and it would be wrong to NOT have godparents.
When we announced that we were not having any, all of our family members have since been trying to encourage us to have at least a few. They’re very shocked about it, since they’ve been to so many weddings and they have all had godparents paying for something, basically everyone in our family has either had a wedding with padrinos or have been padrinos for weddings/quinceneras.
I’ve began to doubt my decision and now I honestly don’t know what the right thing to do is. We’re having a low-budget wedding of $6-7k, and we’re also purchasing a house in January for which we need the most we can from our savings to go towards the down-payment before anything else. It would be NICE to have padrinos, and IF we chose to I would not want to have more than 3 and only for the more affordable parts of the wedding, but I part of me feels bad about even asking, and I don’t know if it’s just me?
Is there a way to do it so no one feels obligated to say yes and that it’s completely optional we’re just putting it out there in case anyone wants to be a part of it? Do people (that have this tradition) feel offended if someone close to them does not ask them to be a padrino? I just don’t know why the older people make a big deal about it, I don’t know if I’m offending anyone. Like is having the title of a godparent something special? Did you have wedding godparents? Have you been a wedding godparent and what is your point of view on this?
Just looking to get other people’s respectul point of view on this situation, or maybe what you would do, or just any thoughts you have in general. Would you go with your pride and not have anyone help you financially, or would you go with what’s convinient and have a little of the financial burden off your shoulders? (btw we can afford the wedding on our own, and that was our plan that’s why we have a low budget for it and are not doing anything fancy, but I’m not saying it wouldn’t be helpful)