Post # 1
So, I have been debating for a while whether or not it is rude to register for a honeymoon. My future Mr. and I have been living together for about three years so we do not need much in the way of home goods and furnishings. On the other hand, we are pretty much paying for the wedding (including 2 receptions) ourselves. We do not know if a honeymoon is even feasible. We were thinking about going to Napa Valley and the California coast but my big dreams are to go to Europe (think Italy and Germany, maybe Spain too). Our parents encouraged us to go big or go home but so far have not offered to help with this at all. What are your thoughts?
Undecided about jetting off!
Post # 3
I know there are several opinions on this. However, we registered for a HM and have receieved tons of positive feedback! We’ve been living together for a year and a half now and also paying for our own wedding. FI’s family only gives cash anyway (they actually never heard of wedding registries – different culture), so it’s working out well for us! My side of the family loved “shopping” through our things to do. It’s up to you and your FI to decide what’s best for yall! I’m very pleased with our decision!
Post # 4
we are taking a cruise and we registared for our honeymoon and when people asked us what we wanted we told them money for our honeymoon because we have already had a house for a number of years. and people are sending us money for the honeymoon from the royalcaribbean website. I dont think it is rude.
Post # 5
I like the idea of honeymoon registries, but I think you have to be careful. After talking with some older relatives about a wedding they were a attending, I realised that the older crowd doesn’t get it. Now, this couple had registered for some very specific things. They wanted two glasses of wine at this place, and a dinner here, and a carriage ride here. And somehow, none of these ‘events’ were very affordable. I think the older folks thought that they were being had. I would suggest having a honeymoon sort of fund that people could donate to instead of specific things that they paid for. They just didn’t take it well at all 🙁
Post # 6
We thought about this, but I’m not wild about the % cuts that the registries take. So instead we registered for things we want to replace or update, and asked our families to mention (if people ask) that we’re very grateful for cash gifts (we can’t afford a honeymoon at this point, either).
Post # 7
We used a honeymoon registry and it was a complete success! Being on a budget we used a free website – http://www.wanderable.com/pages/honeymoon_registry – pretty, with no ads! Well worth it! It also made it quite easy to send thank you cards to all our guests, as we knew what they had contributed to! I think the key to creating a successful honeymoon registry is using appropriate etiquette.
Post # 8
We did it – we are both “older” and have well established households. In addition to a honeymoon registry – which got a pretty good response – we also registered at a department store and crate and barrel.
Good luck and congratulations!
Post # 9
Totally honest opinion here:
I have mixed feelings on HM registries. I feel like I’m being asked to give $, instead of choosing to do so myself, which rubs me the wrong way.
I also dislike the registries that take a percentage of the $. I would rather write a check so that the couple actually gets 100% of what I spend.
I think a small registry for some upgraded home items would be nice for the older generation and/or for people that like to pick out a gift and give that instead.
Also, are you having a bridal shower? Most people like to show up with actual gifts for those.
If you really would prefer cash, the best way I’ve seen is to gently spread it by word of mouth. When people ask your parents or bridal party what you guys would really like, they can very casually and politely mention that you two are saving for a house or honeymoon, etc. Just please, please be polite about it!
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
We’re doing a mix of all of this. I’ve gone back and forth. First we had a sort of cash registry on our wedding website, then I took it down. We have a small traditional registry (with upgrades for stuff). Recently, I put the other registry back up. I wasn’t fond of the percent that’s deducted for credit card transactions, but then I read it’s $5 for anything under $100. I can deal with that. I was also obviously concerned about how it would be perceieved, but folks will likely give checks anyway… FI thinks this is just another avenue if someone wants to give us something. And we have specific things like “date nights” and “winery tours,” and we’re asking mostly for $20-$60 gifts. One large option we have, is a downpayment on a house fund, and that we have at $200 (let’s be honest, $20 isn’t going to help all that much for this purpose).
Plus, we have family passing around that if they want to give a gift, a check would be great.
What we all have to remember is that while we expect nothing from anyone, this is a time that friends and families what to be generous and show their support for our unions… so asking for what we really want should be fine…
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
@PinkPinstripes: I do agree with this. I’m the type to say whatever floats your boat; it’s your wedding, however, after a lot of thought, we opted not to do the HM registry. I also don’t like the idea that a couple is getting cash for something they may never actually spend the cash on, which then leads to thanking someone for an excursion or spa treatment that they may never use. If you want money, have your family spread the word. Personally, we also went the upgrade route on our registry since we’ve been together for 5 years.
Post # 12
We debated this forever!!!!
In the end we did a honeymoon registry through honeyfund. At first a lot of people did not seem to like the idea but i think it really is how you go about it.
We arranged ours to where they are all actually gifts – not what we were doing anyway.
For example: we were going to camp in Milford Sound (something we can afford) someone however bought us the honeymoon suite cabin (something we could never afford) – so now we are upgraded to that. So they are real presents. We also researched a ton of restaraunts and different things to do so there was a huge price range and variety of options.
We also wrote ours out like a story. Describing all the different things they could add to our honeymoon and adding personal touches all through out.
We got a ton of positive feedback on that. People saying how much fun they had reading it and seeing all the different things we were wanting to do. In the end even my Grandma who was completly against it thought it was fun.
Edit to add: We also registered at Bed Bath and Beyond just so no one would feel forced into the honeyfund situation =) So people still had the traditional option. We just didnt register for much there
Also – there is an option to send someone a check on these so the couple does recieve 100% and honeyfund does not take a percentage but if people choose to use paypal then you lose the typical 3% that paypal charges. (side note – the $35 to upgrade to the all out honeyfund with no adds was totally worth it)
Post # 13
we have been using one and it’s working great. i actually disagree about doing it in a ‘fund’ style…the feedback we’ve gotten is that people like getting to pick out and contribute towards specific parts of the trip. i think the key is watching your price points (as with any registry), but the good thing about honeymoon registris that you can totally customize them to your needs, and for excursions, meals, hotel, etc that have a higher price point, you basically just break up the gift ‘group gift’ style by doing a lower price point and request more units. as for the older generation thing, that hasn’t been an issue for us. in fact, lots of them are jealous they didn’t get to use something like this when they got married! at the end of the day, if someone wants to write you a check, they will, but for people who like registries, and since it’s not so nice to just ask for money, this is a great way to let them be part of planning the trip. the site we’re using is http://www.depositagift.com awesome customer service and really easy to set up (use the rapid registries, then you get a list pre-set-up for you!).
Post # 14
We’re spending part of our honeymoon at Sandals and we have a honeymoon registry there. They don’t take any percentage of the gifts. You can register for a really wide variety of monetary contributions (I think $25-$200) or you can register for other things like a candlelit dinner on the beach, an island excursion, spa services, etc. We’ve also registered at Crate & Barrel and Macy’s. The 3 are listed on our wedding website, so there’s plenty of variety. If any of guests see Sandals and aren’t interested, they can go to the other two, or they can choose to gift us with cash.
For us, it just made the most sense. Almost everything we registered for is an upgrade of what we already have. Honestly, I’d rather have cash or honeymoon contributions, but you can’t exactly put “Cash Please” under registry info, lol.
Post # 15
I’m not at all a fan of honeymoon registries.
Post # 16
I just attended a wedding- two people who already lived together and had an established household.
At first I thought the HR was kind of odd- not because it was money-grabby, but because it was so itemized that I thought it gave too much detail into the plans the couple had for their honeymoon, lol!
I also wondered about the logistics of the gifts, until another friend clued me in that the couple just gets a big pile of cash- not an actual golf lesson for two, or sunset dinner on the beach, etc. Then I was weirded out again.
At the end of the day, I found it really convenient because I just paid online through the registry website- at the end of the day, that outweighed any etiquette issues I might’ve had.
I guess what I’m getting at is this: Do what makes you happy! People will talk either way, but they won’t lose nights and nights of sleep over your honeymoon registry, trust me!