Post # 1
Hi Bees, I am a soon to be divorcee. We have a 7 month old son, and I am trying to decide whether I should keep my married name. I don’t want to ever hyphenate my sons name as I had mine hyphenated as a child and hated it. So I am thinking either go back to my maide name or hyphenate my maiden and married names. I would love to get married again oneday if i find someone worthwhile, but I do not plan on changing my name again. If I do, I’ll cross that bridge when it happens 🙂 TIA
This topic was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by MisssJames.
Post # 2
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
MisssJames: Having the same last name as your child is an important consideration. My mom kept my dad’s last name until she married my stepdad because she didn’t want me to think she was rejecting me (she also hated her maiden name and my dad’s last name was much better.) I didn’t have kids with my ex husband so when we divorced I quickly changed back to my maiden name; it was empowering! I felt like my old self and it eased some of the pain of the divorce in that I didn’t have to identify with my ex by signing his last name or identifying myself by his name.
Your son is young enough that he wouldn’t ever know you with your ex husband’s last name so I say change it back to your maiden name. It’s not odd for kids to have last names different than their mothers. If you don’t plan on changing your name if you get married again it may be a good idea to revert to your maiden name so that your future husband isn’t put off by you keeping your ex husband’s name but refusing to take his.
Post # 3
My FI’s Auntie was married, changed her name, had 2 kids then divorced. When her girls were teenagers she met an amazing guy who she eventually married. She still kept her first married name as she wanted the same name as her kids. Her new husband totally understood as he had kids from a previous marriage too. I think someone you meet as a second marriage when you are older is more understanding of this sort of thing, so I wouldn’t stress about that… do whatever you feel most comfortable and identify with the best! 🙂
Post # 4
My mom kept her married name after my parents divorce. My dad even remarried but my mom still didn’t change her name.