To hyphenate or not?!

posted 3 years ago in Names
  • poll: Which would you do - if you were still good friends?
    Married name : (3 votes)
    23 %
    Maiden name : (8 votes)
    62 %
    Hyphenate: maiden-married. : (2 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    MisssJames:  Having the same last name as your child is an important consideration.  My mom kept my dad’s last name until she married my stepdad because she didn’t want me to think she was rejecting me (she also hated her maiden name and my dad’s last name was much better.)  I didn’t have kids with my ex husband so when we divorced I quickly changed back to my maiden name; it was empowering!  I felt like my old self and it eased some of the pain of the divorce in that I didn’t have to identify with my ex by signing his last name or identifying myself by his name.

    Your son is young enough that he wouldn’t ever know you with your ex husband’s last name so I say change it back to your maiden name.  It’s not odd for kids to have last names different than their mothers.  If you don’t plan on changing your name if you get married again it may be a good idea to revert to your maiden name so that your future husband isn’t put off by you keeping your ex husband’s name but refusing to take his.

    Post # 3
    Member
    1049 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    My FI’s Auntie was married, changed her name, had 2 kids then divorced.  When her girls were teenagers she met an amazing guy who she eventually married.  She still kept her first married name as she wanted the same name as her kids.  Her new husband totally understood as he had kids from a previous marriage too.  I think someone you meet as a second marriage when you are older is more understanding of this sort of thing, so I wouldn’t stress about that… do whatever you feel most comfortable and identify with the best! 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    4876 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My mom kept her married name after my parents divorce. My dad even remarried but my mom still didn’t change her name.

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