Post # 1
I work in a small firm (8 people), and am trying to get my fam the list for my bridal shower. There are 4 partners in the firm, so all 4 are technically my bosses. Only one is a woman, and she works in a different office so I very rarely see her. She is also leaving the firm between the date of my shower and the date of my wedding. However, we’re not exactly “friends” but get along ok, and I rarely speak to her – not on purpose, I just never need to.
Additionally, she’s a bit of a drama queen – there aren’t any hard feelings between her and the other 3 at the moment, but I have a feeling that will change by the time my wedding rolls around. I wasn’t sure about inviting her to the wedding, but decided I should, rather than risk burning bridges. I figure if there are issues between them, she just probably wouldn’t go.
I am inviting my other co-workers to the shower, and 2 of them work in the office that she does. Part of me thinks it’s weird to invite my boss – but part of me thinks I should invite her, because I’m inviting the other women in the office/firm. The other 3 partners are definitely getting an invite to the wedding. Suggestions?
Post # 2
lala3005: Unless you are friends with her, don’t invite her to the shower. I think showers are for friends and relatives, not coworkers unless you are tight.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t invite her because you don’t describe her as a friend. The nicest thing you’ve said about your relationship with her is that you get along okay but don’t really interact. Doesn’t sound like she should make the guest list for what is traditionally a more intimate, gifting-expected event.
Post # 4
I simply do not see the point of inviting people with whom you hardly exchange a word to either your shower or your wedding. These are supposed to be occasions to be surrounded by your nearest and dearest.
Post # 5
You’re not burning bridges by not inviting her because this has nothing to do with work or your performance.. it’s something very personal to you. There doesn’t seem to be any type of relationship there other than work (and still very minimal at that), so don’t feel bad or guilty about it.
Post # 6
2 coworkes you are inviting to the shower
If there’s already someone else you are leaving out of the shower/ wedding I wouldn’t sweat leaving your female boss out.
Post # 7
LilRhodyGem: Horseradish: julies1949: Replying to all 3 since you made kind of the same point.
Around here, or in my circle/family/area, the shower is usually put on by the aunts and if someone is invited to the wedding, they are to be invited to the shower if they are female. So they’re not usually intimate or small events around here. Not inviting someone to the shower that lives locally is considered a snub if they are invited to the wedding.
If I wasn’t going to be inviting literally everybody else in the office, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. My concern is really if it’s rude to invite every “eligible” person in the office but her.
Post # 8
CurlyCue: The other girl works in the same office as I do, and she’s invited. The 2 I mentioned work in the same space that she does. I only mentioned the 2, because if I invite the 2, she’ll know about it.