Post # 1
So my bridal shower and bachelorette party were this past Saturday. I had an absolute blast! But, now I have a dilemma. For the bachelorette party we went to a beer garden two hours from my hometown and randomly there was a couple there that my high school friends and I knew.
Now there is a long story about why we had a falling out, as we were all friends in high school, but I’m not going to go into it. This couple was married in June, one of my friends, F, was in the wedding and me and the other friend, B, were invited by the groom without the bride’s knowledge. We didn’t know that until the wedding, when we showed up and she gave us dirty looks. Now I haven’t invited these people to my wedding because a) I was honestly shocked I got an invite to theirs b) I’m not really friends with them c) my FH doesn’t know them/has never met them and d) I’m trying to cut back numbers.
Well, at the bachelorette party they were very nice, came over bought me a beer said congratulations etc. They didn’t stay to hang out or anything, but they were nice about the whole situation. And now I feel like I should invite them to the wedding. F says she doesn’t care if they are invited or not, and she has also said that the groom thinks they are invited. B says she will be EXTREMELY upset if I invite them, she pretty much told me not to invite them. I don’t want to upset anyone, and while I understand where B is coming from, part of me is rebellious and doesn’t like being told what to do. Both F and B are BM’s in my wedding.
There is time to send out the invite before the RSVP date, but I am not really sure what I want to do. When we were at their wedding, they made a point of not coming to our table and thanking us for showing up. If I do invite them and they come, then I will have to try and seat them someplace where they will come into the least amount of contact with B and her family. While I’m not friends with them, and I still feel bad, because they invited me to their wedding and were nice to me at the bachelorette party. Any advice?
Post # 3
Oh gosh, don’t invite them. You’re not even friends with them. Just because they were nice to you at this one random event doesn’t mean they render an invitation. They sound awful–they were rude to you guys at their wedding–making a point of not coming and thanking you? I mean, seriously! Don’t invite them! I bet you won’t feel bad about it in a week…don’t let the guilt get to you.
Post # 4
I’m going with a big no!!! Basically I agree with ejs word for word!
Post # 5
I agree with ejs — it’s more aggro than it’s worth, especially if most of the invitations have already gone out. This is going to sound a little cold, but when you’re trying to keep guest list numbers under control, “they were nice to me when I ran into them at my bachelorette party” isn’t really a compelling reason to put someone on the guest list. I would ask F to pass along the message that you and your FI are having trouble keeping the guest list numbers down, and that you agreed to only invite family and people you both know (or something like that). They may be mad that you didn’t invite them, but if you’re not friends anyway, it’s not a big loss.
Post # 6
I noticed that your wedding is on NYE. If this couple didn’t get a save-the-date, and invitations have already gone out to other guests, it’s going to be pretty apparent that they weren’t exactly on your A-list of guests. And if I were in their position, and I suddenly got an invitation this late in the game, after running into you at your bachelorette party, it would be fairly obvious what had happened. If you didn’t intend to invite them in the first place, don’t do it now.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t invite them. It seems like there’s too much water under the bridge. And I wouldn’t invite them for all the reasons you stated. You don’t owe them anything, especially considering the bride didn’t even want you guys at their wedding.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t invite them either. Just because you went to their wedding does NOT mean you have to invite them to yours.
Post # 9
Based on what you’ve said, I wouldn’t invite them. Buying you a beer at some event pales in comparison to the way they’ve treated you in the past, and it doesn’t sound like you will miss them if they’re not at your wedding.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t invite them. Sounds like its time to just wish them well and part ways. You should only have people at your wedding that you truely want, not because you feel its appropriate to return the invite.
Post # 11
Yeah I’m on the “no” train. It sounds like you have no desire to invite them but feel for some reason obligated, which is no reason to invite them to your wedding especially if you’re trying to keep your numbers down. I wouldn’t give it a second thought, honestly.
Post # 12
To me it seems like you shouldn’t invite them. They were pleasant to you because of the random fact you were there the same time they were for you B party. Your so off the hook for inviting them.
Post # 13
No way. There’s absolutely no reason to invite them.
Post # 14
another vote for “NO” here….
Don’t do it.
Post # 15
I don’t think you should invite them either. Celebrate with those closest and dearest to you. If you were to add a few to your guestlist, I’m sure you’d think of someone else you’d rather invite than them.
Post # 16
Don’t invite, totally and completly not necessary!