Post # 1
So I’ve posted before about my friends that I have fallen out of touch with who are all friends with FI’s childhood friends. But now I have to make a decision about whether or not to send them Save-The-Date Cards or not. I know I can’t send them Save-The-Date Cards and then not an invitation in July. And I just know that if I don’t send them Save-The-Date Cards and other friends do, drama may ensue. The problem is, I’m conflicted: I don’t really want them at my wedding but I don’t want to make things awkward in the future.
For example, whenever Fiance and I go back to his hometown (where they all live along with his childhood friends) and want to go out with his friends I know my “friends” will more likely than not be there. If I don’t invite them to the wedding, things will be significantly awkward if we all go out as a group.
For what it’s worth, Fiance is totally fine with not inviting them to the wedding, but I don’t think he understands the drama/awkwardness that may happen since he doesn’t understand how girls interact lol!
Post # 3
Think of the future: 5 years from now….would you still want their friendship? Would you want these friends to be in your life’s milestones? If no, then, perhaps is ok to disinvite them. It’s natural for friends to lose touch or stop “connecting”. It’s ok to do some “friendship spring cleaning” once in a while.
Post # 4
This my rule, havnt seen or heard from them in at least a year. They’re out. Cold, maybe a little harsh yeah, but it will make things alot easier for you. Plus sometimes its a little awkward to get an invite from someone you kinda forgot about. Just stick by the rule!
Post # 5
I agree with Kare’s rule… And I went further for my wedding: if you don’t want to invite them, then you don’t do it. The way I see it, and maybe it’s harsh, but don’t hate me for it – you only get married once.
I loved my wedding because we didn’t compromise to make other people happy, we kept it about us. To me, if people are offended that they are not invited and are going to make me feel miserable for it, then maybe I don’t want such people in my life… Unless someone is in your close family or very close friends, then their feelings should matter less than yours, especially on this unique event.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t care about other people’s feelings; however this is not about them, it’s about the wonderful commitment that you’re about to make and you want to share with your close ones.
Post # 6
This will sound morbid, so please forgive me. But the people I invited to my wedding are the people I would hope would be at my funeral. If these “friends” received word that you had died, would they attend a funeral? If not, they aren’t worth inviting to the wedding.
Post # 7
You know, I am always surprised about how not weird things are. Your old friends may not even be expecting an invite to the wedding…
Go with your heart.
Post # 8
I like Kare’s and MightSapphire’s rules. Both are a good way to approach a guest list.
In your circumstance though, if you think they might cause drama because they didn’t get a save the date and someone else did… well, then I would think why does that person think they are entitled to come to my wedding? I think friends who get upset about not being invited to someone’s wedding are petty. A mature and good friend would understand if they didn’t make the cut, family often comes first and sucks up all the budget’s space.