Post # 1
long story short: i have a friend named “anna”
i met anna on a organized trip to israel and on the trip we had a great time together. turned out we both lived in the same city so we hung out after the trip and she introduced me to her roommate “betty”
over time, i came to see anna as selfish, annoying, inconsiderate, loud, and generally obnoxious and i have barealy hung out wiht her at all in the last year. Betty and I, on the other hand, get along amazingly – she was even present at the proposal and is DEFINITELY invited to the wedding.
after we got engaged, anna saw me at a bar, took me aside to express her unhappiness that she wasn’t invited to the proposal and also to say that she “better be invited to the wedding.”
I would be inclined to invite her just to keep the peace but my fiance absolutely DOES NOT like her AT ALL. And has said that he would have been OK w/ inviting her but since she is the kind of person that always makes her presence known he absolutely does not want her there.
I don’t particularly want to fight for anna, but on the other hand, i love betty and feel bad for putting her in a weird position too. and although i do think anna is generally obnoxious, i dno’t hate the girl and occasionally enjoy hanging out with her. I know that if i don’t invite anna, any chance of ever being friendly with her in the future is pretty much out.
what would you do?
Post # 3
I definitely wouldn’t invite someone that had pressured/threatened me into it. Do you really care about being friendly with her? Seems like it’s more hassle than it’s worth, plus your FI doesn’t want her there and it’s his wedding too.
Post # 4
It’s your day and you need to enjoy it with family and friends. Why would you let her pressure you? Maybe this will get her out of your life and you won’t have to be friendly with her anymore. She doesn’t sound too friendly anyway.
Post # 5
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
I’d invite Anna out of the sheer awkwardness of the situation, especially if she and Betty are still roomies. That way Betty has someone to sit with at the reception (assuming she’s not in the wedding and doesn’t know a lot of other people which could both be wrong) and I’d tell FI with all the people there he won’t even notice Anna.
Post # 6
You don’t want her there, so, don’t invite her. Sometimes I think we wedding planning bees put too much emphasis on the correct etiquette. You don’t want to really see her in the daily living world, and you don’t get on, and she sounds, well, not very nice. Not someone I’d want at my wedding.
Post # 7
You say you don’t hate the girl and still occasionally hang out with her so I would invite her if it’s a big wedding and every and any are being invited. But if you don’t want to be friends with her anymore, then don’t invite her.
Post # 8
Since your fiance is against it then you should respect his wishes and not invite her, only because it’s not that important to you that she’s there and it would only be to avoid conflict with her (if you really want her there then maybe he will come around). I’m actually in the SAME situation and I’m not looking forward to having to face the day when my own “anna” finds out she’s not on the guest list, but it just is what it is…I tell myself in 20 years it won’t matter, try telling yourself that, it really works. On the other hand, I have another friend who fiance finds annoying and does not care for but she’s a very good friend and he’ll have to just get over it since it is important to me that she’s there. So, I would not invite Anna based on that criteria.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t invite her if you don’t want to have her there. Also, Betty can attend the wedding without Anna knowing about it.
Post # 10
I also have an “Anna” and it’s driving me crazy but the important thing is that my FI does not like her and hs told me he does not wish her to be at our wedding.
At first I lost sleep over it and then I realised that if it wasn’t for the wedding, I probably would not see her again.
Problem solved really,
I try to think about when I look back on the day, will I have missed her there. I doubt
I will even see her again!