(Closed) To invite or not to invite..

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

You don’t have to invite them. Especially if you aren’t close to the couple there’s no social pressure or peer pressure to invite them so if you don’t want to then don’t do it. 

Post # 4
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think you can go either way. If you want to be extra generous, inviting them wouldn’t hurt. But if you don’t invite them def don’t feel guilty, especially if you are sending them a gift. Weddings aren’t just a party, they’re intimate and extremely expensive so people should never be offended about not getting an invite, esp. if they’re not close to you.

Post # 5
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I wouldn’t invite them if you’re really uncertain why they invited you to theirs. I’m not fond of the “you HAVE to invite them because they invited you to yours” rule. I think it’s silly. I would consult your parents to be sure it’s not a huge deal if an invite doesn’t get sent their way. If it is, though, go ahead and send one. You know they won’t attend anyway. It seems like it’s not worth upsetting parents when you know they can’t come, right? 🙂 Sometimes parents are more concerned with the guest list, so that’s the only reason I bring that up.


Post # 6
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I think it doesn’t hurt to invite them. It’s a pretty high probability that they’ll decline anyway since they will be getting married the day before. But, I also wouldn’t feel bad not inviting them.

Post # 7
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it’s a little odd that they invited you, and I think if you choose not to invite them it won’t be a big deal. I mean, neither of you is going to be able to attend the others’ wedding, so if you want to send them an invite it probably wouldn’t matter, but don’t feel pressure to. 

Post # 8
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you should invite them, they will prolly not be able to make your wedding anyways, that way there are no hurt feelings and everyone will be happy!

Post # 9
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Maybe I’m a cynical person, but I’d read this as a give-me-a-gift invite because they know you can’t make it. I’d send regrets and a nice card if I received an invitation, but sending a gift would be very generous of you. I wouldn’t invite them if it wouldn’t have occurred to you to invite them anyway.

Post # 10
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I wouldn’t invite them.  At this point, I think it would like you invited them because they invited you.  I say you send them a nice card or gift if you would like and continue on you way. 


Post # 12
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I wouldn’t invite them. Given the date of their wedding, they know you can’t come and you know they can’t come. If it ever comes up, you can just say you knew they’d be busy with their own wedding!

Having the groomsmen check in on it though is a good, in case it was some kind of mistake.

Post # 13
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I wouldn’t invite them unless you are prepared that they MAY come.

The topic ‘To invite or not to invite..’ is closed to new replies.

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