Post # 1
So my fiance’s Mom dated a man when my fiance was younger. We’ll call him Mr. H. My fiance and Mr. H are still in touch and we even saw him last month, but the FH’s Step-father doesn’t know he is still in my FH’s life.
If we invite Mr. H to the wedding and he shows up it will be really disrespectful to my FH’s stepfather because he’s helping us a lot with the wedding and pretty much raised my FH.
However, my FH wants Mr. H. to know that he is important to him and he would like to have him there on our day… but that it’s not something he should attend.
Does this make sense?
Do we send him an invite and then talk to him about not coming? Do we hope he just doesnt show? Do we not invite him and be super awkward next time we see him?
Post # 3
I’d say lay it out to the step-father and mother and just have your Fi stress why it’s important to him. I think he should invite the man if it means that much to him. It’s not like he has to sit at the head/parents table.
Post # 4
Obviously they are grown adults. If the stepfather and Fi’s mother can’t accept that your FI and Mr. H are still close that’s a problem they need to discuss on their own.
I agree, I would definitely sit down and talk and explain the importance of it. If they don’t see it your way — and Fi feels strongly about it, then invite him anyway. What are they going to do? Run away with your wedding cake on the day of, because they’re pissed at yall for inviting him?
Post # 5
I agree. He should talk with SF and let him know everything that he loves about their relationship, but there were other influencial people in his life growing up and one of them was Mr. H. Try to express that Mr. H never took the place of SF, he added to FI life, not subtracted from SF-FI relationship.