(Closed) To invite or not to invite…that is the question.

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I invite my best friend?
    Yes : (13 votes)
    62 %
    No : (4 votes)
    19 %
    Not sure : (4 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1418 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I guess the decision comes down to whether or not you want to maintain a friendship with her.  If not – don’t invite her and go your separate ways.  However, I do not think you will be able to maintain and repair your friendship if you don’t invite her at this point.  She may waver on supporting your marriage (and yes I agree that the people at your wedding should be the most supportive!), but if you choose not to invite her, I would guess the friendship is over.  So I think it is more of a friendship or no friendship thing as opposed to a wedding invite thing.  Good luck 🙂 

    Post # 4
    Member
    5655 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Hmmmm… doesn’t sound like the best situtation but I can understand not having the approval of everyone.

    My FIs aunt actually told me straight to my face that she didn’t think he should be getting married. *gasp*

    Alot of emotions start flying when there’s a wedding in the works and yes it definitely sounds she letting her “not fantasy marraige” get in the way of her love for you. Be the bigger person and don’t get wrapped up in her mess.

    My advise would be to just continue to love her because you know this won’t last forever… ya’ll will both change and hopefully she’ll come out of her funk and connect back with you. I would definitely invite her so atleast when you look back you won’t regret having let some strife end an almost 20 yr friendship. Remember that one day when you look back at her behavior it won’t really matter…. don’t let the petty get in the way 😉

    Hope this helps some sweetie

    Post # 5
    Member
    419 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I think something else is going on, jealousy… Maybe she has feelings for your guy? … Someone once told me, bridesmaid drama is always about something else…

    Post # 6
    Member
    944 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Wow.  I’m having the same issue with a friend but my friend is approving—she just got pissed she would have to pay for her dress.  After all the bitching I decided to just not have a wedding party at all!  She has been extremely distant and I’ve felt like our friendship is over due to a lot of her actions (or lack thereof) and I’m on the fence if I want our friendship to possibly continue or not and also if I should invite her or not.  UGH  Drama.

    Post # 9
    Member
    553 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I would sit down with her and say I want you at my wedding but only if you check your issues at the door. This is my day and you have to smile and love me and be happy that I am happy. If you can’t do this, please do not come. We can still work out our friendship but you should come only if you can come with support and happiness for me.

     

    If you don’t think she can handle this decision, then maybe you are right. Maybe she shouldn’t be invited.

    Post # 10
    Member
    332 posts
    Helper bee

    I was in a similar situation about a month ago however my “friend” is approving of our marriage. But she didn’t get her dress on time and I couldn’t get a hold of her to see what was up. I asked if she wanted to be in the wedding or if she didn’t through a text and she said she got her feelings hurt by that and that its best that she isn’t in the wedding but would love to witness the day. I tried talking to her about it and working something out and was nothing but nice and she would never answer any of my phone calls or messages. I thought best not to invite her because she didn’t find me important enough to be given the time of day to find out what was going on.

    I do know that this will probably end our friendship but in my situation she wasn’t much of a friend to begin with so Im really not missing out.

    I think if she isn’t going to add to your day or make it more special because she is there then maybe she isn’t worth it. But if you decide to not invite her your friendship will most likely end. Bridesmaids are so stressful….ugh! Good luck!!

    Post # 12
    Member
    7175 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Whatever she is going through – it’s clear, based on what she told you, that she wants to support you.  I think you should go ahead and invite her.  To not invite her, would be really hurtful and end the friendship – which, it doesn’t sound like you are at that point.

    It also sounds like your relationship needs some work and perhaps some boundaries for both of you – but, that will sort itself out in the future.

    The topic ‘To invite or not to invite…that is the question.’ is closed to new replies.

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