Post # 1
I’m stressing over what I will change my name to once FI and I are married. I definitley want his last name but I want to keep my maiden name as well. Simple solution? To drop my middle name and use First Maiden NewLast. But, here’s the problem:
NO ONE in my family calls me by my first name, even though that’s who I am in public. My middle name is Nicole and since I was born, my family has called me Nikki — that’s who I am to them and I don’t want to lose that identity. I feel like if I drop my middle name once FI and I get married that I won’t be Nikki anymore — it won’t be part of my name. But, I kindof also want to keep my maiden name because my family is well-known in my area and I want to keep that affiliation. I do NOT want to hyphenate and I don’t want to have an extremely long, complicated name.
So, what do you think I should do? What did YOU do? Did anyone drop their middle name and replace it with your maiden? Did you feel like you lost a bit of yourself once you did that?
Post # 3
@iheartmarshall: I’m not married yet, but my plan is to move my maiden name to my middle name and drop my current middle name. That being said, I will always know what my middle name is, just because the government will no longer put it on my paperwork doesn’t mean that it isn’t part of my identity.
Likewise, regardless of what your new name is, you will always be Nikki to your family!
Good luck in making your decision 🙂
Post # 4
@iheartmarshall: I will keep all four names and I hate my middle name but it was my great grandmothers so I just can’t drop it.
Post # 5
I have THREE middle names, THREE! It’s a little ridiculous, but fairly common in my culture. My maiden name is very short, so I decided to just add it to the list of middle names, what harm could it do right? So now, I’m First Middle Middleveryveryverylongname Middle Maiden Newlast. It doesn’t fit on all my documents, but most of the time it’s a non-issue. Good luck!
Post # 6
I would just keep all your names and add the new one at the end. Don’t drop any if you don’t want to.
Post # 7
You can keep your three current names and then add a fourth – your hubby’s last name! My last name because my second middle name. You can do that at the SS office.
Post # 8
I dropped my middle name and made my maiden my middle. BUT I’ve always hated my middle name so I was HAPPY to do it. In your case, I would keep all names and just add your newlast to the end. Rock the two middle names!
Post # 9
I’m having a similar issue. No one calls me by my middle name (thank God), but I don’t want to drop it because it was the name my parents chose for me. I too want to keep my maiden, but do not want to hyphenate or have a super long name. The way I see it is I have two options, 1. if it’s super important to me to keep my maiden name I will just have 2 middle names, and a fairly long full name OR 2. I can suck it up and drop the maiden name completely. It will just be so hard to let go of that. Decisions, Decisions!
In your case though I would just keep your middle name because of the connection with you only being known as Nikki in your family. Just have two middle names!