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Ugh I hate facebook for this reason. My BF actually cancelled his account for a different reason and i was initially sad because it just said "in a relationship" instead of "in a relationship with mr. honey bear"
But then I got over it and I just have most of my close friends on there and some people from high school. I dont care if my BF looks at my facebook, I have nothing to hide so he is ok with it.
To answer your question...I would be soooo pissed. But that may just be me! I am a fairly jealous person and I dont want to know anything about your past relationships! You are with me now and that is all that should matter. I am the type of person who burns ex's pictures though lol
Hmmmmm I dunno.... but i too hate FB for this reason.. if it was a long time ago i'd ignore it. i have a past M has a past, everybody has a past... it doesn't mean they are into each other or anything like that, you know?
Because I'm such a jealous person, I personally do not want to know the people FI has been with. We vaguely know a few things about each other's pasts but avoid specifics. What is past is past, and we only want to focus on right now. However, having said that, neither of us has any contact with past relationships, but I think it would be much much harder if we still hung around with those people.....
I personally believe that an open book policy is the best policy and I get this past information out of the way early in the relationship!
I think it is important to know what you are getting yourself into!
But I do know many friends who feel the opposite - it's in the past so it doesn't matter!
You have to decide as a couple what works for you!
He has a right not to tell you everything that happened before you met. At the same time, you have a right to expect that your friends will support you together in your marriage. If this woman can be supportive and respectful of your relationship (ie not dissing you or telling him he'd be better off with her) then it is fair for him to continue to be friends with her. You said you met her and didn't catch on that they had a past, so it seems reasonable to assume that she behaved with respect and didn't try to rub it in your face. And your fiance told you the truth so it sounds like he has nothing to hide. So I think it is probably fine.
It strikes me as a little bit odd that you asked your FI what his current relationship with this girl is in order to explain why he had his arm around her, and his response was that he hooked up with her. Why wouldn't he simply say that he had his arm around her because she's a good friend? If their past is actually the reason why they're affectionate now, then that's a huge red flag. I don't think that freaking out and pressuring him to reveal all the details of his past will be productive, though; that would probably only serve to push him away, and he does have the right to some degree of privacy. But maybe try calmly explaining to him that whenever there is going to be a situation where you're the only person in the room who is clueless as to why he's so friendly with a certain girl, that it would be very open and strong and supportive of him to say to you, "Hey, nothing weird, but I just wanted to let you know I used to date this friend." If you're going to be interacting with her, then you should probably know if there was a past. I feel that's different than asking him to sit down and list every sexual encounter he's ever had.
It's not like we see this person a lot, butwhen I did meet her she was rude tome. i asked FI what her problem was and he said she is like that to everybody. That's why I was so suprised when I saw the pictures of the two of them.
I think I just feel like I probably looked really dumb to eveybody. I had no idea anything had happened and her I am the one person who should know things like this about my own fiance. It also worried me that he became so defensive rigt away. i brought it up pretty casually about how nice it would have been to have a heads up and then he completely made of big deal of the whole thing. Saying just leave the past a lone no ggod can come out of talking about it. Now I just wonder what else he is keeping fromme. That is a pretty sucky feeling.
Well that changes things! She was rude to you and FI just replied that "she's just like that," instead of saying, "I can't believe that/should I say something/we don't really have to see her again" ?? I mean, not that he should end a friendship because of you, but that the friend should be supportive like someone else said... well, that's important if he's going to keep going with this friendship! He could have gotten defensive based on how you acted, but I'm assuming he just dealt with it a weird way. It's possible that perhaps she broke his heart and he still has a few issues with it. I don't really have any advice except that I would see how he handles this in the future, because this limited contact doesn't really mean much now.
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So this is a very personal subject,but I need some input. Recently my FI was tagged on Facebook(which I believe could single cause divorce rate to sky rocket), with pictures of him with a girl that I had previously met. He had his arm around her so I asked what the deal is. He preceeded to tell me that he hooked up with her. Now I feel stupid because I've been around her several times and had no I idea.
I asked him to tell me who he's slepted with and he got very upset saying it was the past and I would just get upset, which made me even more upset. Am I being unreseanable to know the truth? I feel like he is hiding things from me and just really stupid that everyone knew he slept with her except for me.