Post # 1
I am a 40 year old bride to be who has selected my bridesmaids but most of them are not participating like they should. How do I take some of the ladies out of my bridal party without jeopardizing our friendship?
Post # 3
You will probably get a lot of flack for the fact that bridesmaids/MOH’s are really only suppose to show up the day of to support you in their attire. Anything assigned needs to be discussed/agreed upon by both parties; However, if you want to cut down your bridal party there are a few ways you can do it:
1. Let them know you need to cut down the party due to spacing at your venue (if you don’t have a lot of room at the front for them all to stand
2. How many does your FI plan on having on their side? You can let them know your FI and you need to make cuts so you have the same numbers on each side and that unfortunately you need to make some cuts but you still want them coming as a guest
3. Be open/honest about your expectations of what you wish your wedding party to do and be honest about your consequences. If they don’t know your expectations or what you want help with than you may need to clarify with those not participating.
Post # 4
@mrsmiketobe: I can hardly wait, what “should” they be doing? How many did you selec, and why did you select that number?
Post # 5
I would talk to them about your expectations are from your wedding party before cutting them. Cutting them is going to hurt feelings, period, no matter how you paint it.
I’m a little confused as to why you would cut them though. To avoid giving them a gift you don’t feel they’ve earned, or are you just hoping to bring on new more helpful maids in their place?
Post # 6
Can you explain exactly what your “participation expectations” of them are?
Post # 7
Post # 8
@mrsmiketobe: I have 6 bridesmaids, and all I expect from them is: help pick their dresses, wear shoes in the same colour as each other, and stand beside me on my wedding day. I didn’t choose them so that I’d have a team to help plan my wedding… I just want them there because they’re important to me, not because I need my own personal wedding concierge.
Post # 9
Your expectations of their participation may be too high. It would be nice if they helped out, but did you choose them as friends or as your labor force?
They probably have things going on in their lives and can’t do more than they have been. If your date is correct, you’re cutting it pretty close to it to start desimating your bridal party now.
Post # 10
What are you expecting them to do that they aren’t doing?
Quite honestly, all I expect of my girls is to set a day for them to pick a dress, show up early on the day of for hair & makeup [which I’m paying for, along with their dress], and smile and look pretty.