(Closed) to many friends for them all to be bridesmaids.. anybody else have this problem?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

They should understand but.. let’s be real, they probably won’t.  Is there anyway you could maybe make them a hostess?  That way they can still feel apart of it, but they’re just not that involved as your BM’s will be.  That’s what I’m doing, and it’s gone over really well!

Post # 5
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m really not a fan of giant wedding parties… it looks more like a parade and it loses its meaning (not if you have 8 sisters… lol). I could have a dozen BMs for this reason or that (that was my original #!), but when it comes down to it there are really only 3 girls I really love/trust (some ladies show their real colors and I’m all about non-drama) enough to have in my Bridal Party. Everyone else I hope to see there!

I’ve also had those “you’ll be in mine” convos w/ many friends and stuff happens. Its not always the case… so don’t get caught up in all that.

I have one friend that I was in her Bridal Party last fall, but she and I have an “eh” friendship… and dear lord, her wedding process was brimming w/ drama! We’ve been friends for 6 years, but have grown somewhat distant since college ended. On 3 occassions she has brought up “returning the favor” by being in my Bridal Party and I really don’t plan to have her in it. Another girl and I were BFFs for 10ish years, but after HS we lost touch except for random txts… she wants me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor still… gah… So, for now I do not address the issue… lol… I don’t have to, yet since its still unofficial!!! Tongue out Its unfair for anyone to assume they’re in your wedding… but yes, I’m fully aware that happens!

Bridal Party sizes also depend on your wedding size anyway. If I stick to the smaller wedding, then it really would look silly w/ a larger Bridal Party.

Post # 6
1104 posts
Bumble bee

Australian weddings tend to have smaller bridal parties – ours was considered pretty big with 4 on each side. Even so, I was in a similar boat, I think I could have easily had 10 bridesmaids. But I stuck to my 2 sisters, my cousin, and my male best friend figuring that since he’s a guy the girls couldn’t get jealous 🙂 I think I did have a jealous friend, I was Bridesmaid or Best Man for her but it didn’t feel right having her in mine (to be honest I’m not sure why she asked me as I didn’t think we were *that* close, I was honoured though). I asked her to do a reading in our ceremony instead. My other girlfriends were more than happy to be helpers especially since almost all my bridal party were interstate – they got the emails, came dress shopping, helped with invitations, set up the reception room on the day. I thanked them all profusely (including in my speech at the reception) and also bought them T shirts with their name and “Wedding Planner” written on the back – I think it helped them all feel included and special!

Post # 9
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

we are only having three.. and even then, its a bit of a number…

I have about 10 close girlfriends who I talk to regularly and would consider to be great friends (i will see each one over a span of two weeks at least twice?)  However when it came to choosing bridesmaids, I chose my friend Emma because she was level headed, enthusiastic tho, had the time to take on the duties and also she had been my friend the longest.

other two bridemaids, were girls that I were good friends with and I knew would get along great with emma and have a realistic approach to things and would help able to help her and also I had developed a friendship where I knew that they would have my back and understood me and who I am. (so when or whatever emotion that I was feeling they would understand and be a support)

with the other girls… I thought these factors through, even tho there friends.. thinking about how they would relate to each other mattered.

I read about girls who are having drama after drama with their bridesmaids because they just felt as tho they were obligated to. Have a serious think, even write down the pros and cons for each girl (one may have annoying habit that your FH cant stand?, one may work 60 hrs a week, would she have the time?) that kind of thing

Good luck!

Post # 10
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Hmmm. It depends which way I look at it. Really, right now, I would say (aside from bf) I don’t have a very best friend (and quite honestly this is getting me down, I barely have friends at home anymore). I have friends for life that I made at uni, and we see each other a couple of times a year and generally try to keep in touch, but there are 3 (R,L and V)of them and then there’s my sister as well.

Tradition in the UK (all the weddings I’ve ever known) is that bride buys bridesmaids dresses, so I’d be making it pricey for myself if I did have them stand up with me. Bf doesn’t have many man friends, so currently agreed on me having my sister, and him having his childhood friend who I am yet to meet.

It sounds crappy, but R is getting married this year, she’s closest to V and she is a bridesmaid whereas me and L are invited as regular guests. Totally cool with it, but it helped me with the “all or nothing” decision – I’m equally close to all 3.

I sound terrible with what I put there.

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