(Closed) To Move or NOT to Move

posted 5 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
  • poll: Would you:
    Play it safe, stay in state and live near the new job. : (2 votes)
    11 %
    Take a leap of faith and move to a new state to live near civilization. : (6 votes)
    33 %
    Move to be near the new job for a short period and then move again to Ohio in 6 mo - 1 year. : (4 votes)
    22 %
    Wait to take a job you think would be a better fit for you. : (6 votes)
    33 %
  • Post # 3
    1059 posts
    Bumble bee

    How long have you been dating, and do you consider this new job to be a sacrifice of sorts to be near your SO? That would be helpful to know!

    Post # 5
    4512 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Would you take the job if your boyfriend weren’t in the picture? If not, then I’d think carefully before doing it. 

    Post # 6
    263 posts
    Helper bee

    If it doesn’t work out with the job or the guy, what is the job market like for you in Toledo?

    Don’t sacrifice your career for a guy, ever.

    Post # 7
    2425 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I would wait for a better fit job. Let’s be honest here, he is only 100 miles away from you currently, that is what, 1.5 hr drive? I would not risk my career over this. Power through until you find a better job and will be happy with where you live (how happy are you gonna be in BFE with a non-ideal job and only Boyfriend or Best Friend nearby for friends?) or wait until you have a more solid committment. Even with an engagement though, I would cover your bases and go for your ideal career.

    Post # 8
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I’m confused. Why do you think this job will be a bad fit? After all of the interviews and studying your field, you should have a pretty good idea of what the work will be. I think you really need to sit down and separate real concerns about the job from cold feet about the big change. Change is scary, but it can also be very rewarding. I’m not sure exactly what field you’re in, but I bet opportunities like this don’t come everyday.

    Post # 9
    6745 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Hrm, I think his answer is good – he shouldn’t be influencing your decision.  This should be your decision to make.  However, how did you start applying for a job closer to him – was that something you just woke up one morning and decided to do or was it something you two discussed?

    I’m more concerned with how your LIFE is going to change, more than your job.  A 35 mile commute?  How long will that take you to get to work?  Why wouldn’t you live in BFE to be close to work since you commute 5 days a week (assuming) vs being closer to your SO? 

    Where do you ULTIMATELY want to live?

    Why aren’t you two moving in together?

    Do you have a timeline for engagement and wedding?

    Post # 11
    1992 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Okay so if it were me, I would take the new job (esp cuz you think you’ll lose your current one) but at the same time I’d move to greater Toledo to be close to your guy.

    I would never condone or want to move to BFE esp when its not where your guy lives.  I would MUCH RATHER live closer to my guy and his family and an actual city with things to do than live closer to work. 

    I live in So. Cal and its pretty common to have a 35-40 minute commute to work… some have an hour or an hour and a half to get to the major cities from the suburbs so it doesn’t seem abnormal to me.

    Being close to him is at least something you can find comfort in with all the changing things around you. Also, after work you can meet him for dinner or go hang out and on the weekends are the same. 

    If the job doesn’t go well, there might be more opportunity in Toledo. 
    The point is, if you think you’re going to be with this man for the rest of your life, I think you should/would want to spend as much time with him as possible (aka living in the same town) and start living your lives with each other around…

    #2 has my vote for sure… I think its the best for the continued development of your relationship and for your professional situation as well Smile

    Don’t be afraid to try something new!
    Your guy is supportive and will be there if you change your mind!

    Post # 13
    1992 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @evlpc:  I definitely think so!  You just need to be confident in your decision to do what will both make sense and make you happy… how could taking a FOR SURE job & being near the man you love NOT do those things?  Let your confidence in your relationship give you the confidence to make the move!

    Good luck my dear!

    The topic ‘To Move or NOT to Move’ is closed to new replies.

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