@Sweetpeaontheweddingbee7: Well, I can testify that where I live, it’s actually quite common that the couple asks their guests to pay for their meal. And even, in my family, my parents had litterally never attended a wedding that was free for guests. However, even if it exists and is accepted in some families or cultures, I can say it’s the kind of things that people often have strong opinions about. Eitheir they believe it’s rude, either they consider it’s normal and fine. But all the couples I know in real life or on forums that have asked for guest contribution, never received any complain ! For some family, it’s a way of putting all the family to contribution instead of just the parents, for example. Everybody throws in a little bit, and some will even give money or gifts more, but it is expected that the guests who pay for their meals don’t have to give anything else. There are many reasons I believe why this practice can be interesting :
– No ”no-show” financial issues and drama ;
– Not having to cut your guestlist dramatically if you’re really on a tight budget and it can be a really painful task to do ;
– Most families who embrace this practice believe a young couple shouldn’t get into debts for their wedding, and shouldn’t keep from getting married because they don’t have enough money ; of course, I’d say that many couples who embrace this practice don’t want something lavish either.
– Most couples do not actually ask for the full amount of plate cost. For example, if everything comes to 80$/person, they might ask for 50.
– Unless you have a very very large guestlist, no, it doesn’t mean you will have more ”no” on your invites because you ask for a contribution.
– I actually prefer, as a guest, knowing how much is expected I pay ; then if I have let’s say 150$ budget total, I can give the rest of that amount as a wedding gift.
My fiancé and I are asking for plate contribution, AFTER asking both our parents what they thought about it. As I said, in my family, it’s the normal procedure. In his family, it’s not, but both his parents immediately agreed and told us none of SO’s aunts or uncles would be offended by that. We’re having a very small civil wedding, 50 to 60 guests total, and we had to cut the list because we couldn’t afford to have friends or cousins (I have only 4 and I’m close to them). Now, we can. It’s a huge relief for us both and to have our parents behind us to support us and encourage us in our decision made me finally at peace with the whole thing (because I was about to cancel everything).