- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
It is not the responsibility of you and your FI to be their chauffeur. I would NEVER expect to travel out of town and not provide my own transportation either through carpooling with friends, renting a car, etc. Let them know that you will be unable to pick them up and recommend that they rent a car. Don't change your schedules to chauffeur them.
I think they should rent a car. It is rude to fly into town for someones wedding, 2 days before the wedding and expect them to be able to cater to you. they are grown women and should take care of themselves. Plus, they really should know that you are going to busy with finishing stuff up for the wedding and trying to see all the family.
I would just tell them exactly what you told us...that you are going to be busy finshing up some last minute wedding details that day. Tell them that you have some meetings with vendors which you don't know how long they will take and you would hate to have to cancell on picking them up on the last minute if the meetings go over. It looks like you're unsure if any other family will be there on Thursday so you can't ask another family member to pick them up.
I'm sure if you explain this potitely, they should be undersstanding of the situation. It's funny they even asked...I would never outwardly ask the bride or groom to drive me aroundduring their wedding weekend.
Can another member of the family pick them up? How far away is the airport from the destination?
We also had a destination wedding, and the airport was about 30 mins each way from our hotel. We picked up close family members from the airport on Thursday because we didn't want them to have to incur the cost of a rental car if it wasn't necessary. I didn't pick up anyone, but my mom, MIL and brother-in-law did. They didn't mind at all, and I got to finish up our vendor meetings. Everyone was happy :)
i agree its wrong to put you in that position if youre so busy, but maybe they have no idea how busy you are
i agree with the above suggestions of either hiring a car to pick them up and/or having someone else pick them up.
hiring a car shouldnt be too expensive and maybe when they find out how busy you are and had to do taht they will even help chip in for the cost
also, if you ask someone else, i'm sure people woudl be more than willing to help out for the wedding. people understand that traveling is difficult and at least in my experience are more than willing to help out where they can, it makes them feel useful!
I'm probably going to be the voice of dissent, but I would try to pick them up. How far away is the airport? Can someone else (family, friends) possibly pick them up if you don't have enough time?
I wouldn't consider it "chaffuering" them around if you just have to pick them up from the airport.
I would just send them a polite e-mail explaining that you will be too busy with wedding related appointments to make it out to the airport. You could also give them links or phone numbers for local cab services or car rental companies.
I agree with hotchildinthecity. I would try to pick them up. It is your FH's favorite aunt and his grandmother, not random guests. =)
@Miss Chapstick- As far as right now goes, my parents both have to work till mid afternoon on that day (they live close to where our wedding will be). From the destination, the airport is probably 30 minutes with traffic. But my family all lives an hour away from the venue with the added half hour to the airport. We're all swamped on Thursday because of vendor meetings, bachelor and bachelorette parties, tux pick ups, marriage license, and other people coming into town.
@EmeraldR- Great idea, but it's kind of pricey to do that. And it's a 3 hour minimum rental. Poo... But thanks for the suggestion!
@puzzle- I'm a little worried with how the Aunt is going to respond no matter how polite I'll be with her. She's very much a diva and I'd hate to step on any toes, but I would expect them to understand that we're going to be busy the last couple of days before the big day, you know?! I thought that nobody would ask us, but I was the first person on her list to send that email to! I'm really hoping that a different family member (non-bridal party) will be able to pick them up. Fingers crossed!!!
@Rosiegirl and @FutureKMM- I know EXACTLY what you're saying... if I was going to a destination wedding, I would be prepared to rent my own car or find my own means of transportation, but that's just me! I thought that that's how it works! I've never known someone to assume that the bride and groom are going to be picking people up from the airport 2 days before the wedding!
since the email was to your ffil too, i would delegate responding to the email and figuring out who picks them up to him. even if they may not be in town yet, it's his mom and sister--he should know how to respond to them best
If they are staying at a hotel or resort, find out if the place has a free shuttle to and from the airport there and arrange for that. I think that is fair.
I would not be playing chauffeur, as there are others I am sure who would love to take you both up on having be picked up and delivered back to the airport but you cannot accomodate everybody.
If the resort doesn't, is there a member of the bridal party who can do this for you? Parent?
If no one can pick them up,can you find out about the airport shuttle bringing them? I'd have that info on hand first so you're not just saying no,but offering a solution by making some arrangements for them. They really can't argue with that. :)
can you not just get them a taxi from the airport? say that unfortunatly you'll be rushed off your fett but you can arrange to have one meet them there
I just want to add another thought - a lot of people seem to be saying to have someone else get them, hire a driver, get an hotel shuttle, etc. But if these guests don't have transportation to and from the airport on their own, how do they intend to get around all weekend? Are they just planning to bum rides off of other people? I think it is rude to go out of town and not figure out your own means of transportation.
I would def let your FI handle this, if she's his favorite aunt and tends toward being a diva. Personally, if you all can't get her and no one else can either, I'd send back a breezy e-mail about how great it will be to see them, and here are the names of the best local cab company/airport shuttle service, or how you negotiated a group discount with the XXX car rental company, and you're just so excited that they'll be celebrating with you! Maybe also mention that you're glad they're arriving early to enjoy the destination, and you wish you could take advantage of that time too, but you know you'll be cloistered away making placecards/assembling bouquets/doing whatever it is you'll be doing. There's a good chance she didn't realize how busy you'd be, and if you deflect the question instead of saying "we can't pick you up because we're too busy" then you don't give her the opportunity to say "I can't believe you're too busy for me etc etc" and the whole thing can just blow over.
@FutureKMM: That's actually not that surprising to me. I have family members flying in who would need a ride from the airport, but would ride with other family once they got here.
I agree with KMM. If I were going to a destination wedding, I would definitely be figuring out my own transportation for the whole weekend. Even if it was to get rides from people, I would have it all planned out and would NEVER expect the bride or groom to drive me anywhere. Even if it was like my sister, or BFF, I think its rude to just assume that.
@ hotchildinthecity - I agree that they may be riding with other family throughout the weekend and have already arranged that. I don't have a problem with that if that is truely their plan. But if that's the case, I still think they should get their own taxi from the airport if that other family isn't in town yet. The bride and groom and their immeadiate family have too much on their plates the few days before the wedding to be trying to pick people up from the airport (especially if it requires over an hour of driving time to do so).
I appreciate everyone's opinions on this frustrating matter! It's difficult for us to reschedule vendor meetings due to half of them being out of town and half of them being in our venue city. FH and I have decided that it would be best to either hire a car to pick them up at the airport and take them to their hotel or to suggest that they rent a car. I've sort of ended up letting my FH take care of this situation and decide what would be best/easiest for everyone.
You are all awesome and I appreciate everyone's point of views and help!! Thank you ladies :]
I would give her some suggestions but not long drawn out researched ones - you can take a cab, train, bus, or rent a car. Here is a phone book.. or google.
It's a little silly that they couldn't do this on their own, or talk to another family member. Yes, let me have the bride and groom shuttle me around while they're super busy. Please..
I was in the middle of commenting on this yesterday and then my boss walked in and had to x out! im glad i just saw it again!
I dont think you should have to be picking them up . I would never go on a vacation/ away for a wedding and expect to be picked up. I would have rented a car if i was them.
Im guessing they have been married before and know how much goes into having a wedding and that you will have no time to be picking up or droping off anyone.
at the most if they throw a stink you could pay for a cab i guess, but IMO you shouldnt have to
@Melissabegins- this is exactly how I was feeling, but yet my FH thinks that we should be as accommodating as possible and reschedule our vendor meetings! I don't think he realizes all that we have to get done from Wednesday on that week! We're busy! Especially with it being a destination wedding!
Beause the email was addressed to you, your FI and FFIL, I would call FFIL and ask him to handle this. He can explain that you too will be busy, and that he will not be there in time. Then he can suggest they take a cab. Normally, I am not one to shove work onto someone else (ie FFIL) but since he got the email also, I say let him speak with her.
I'm in total agreement with finnaroo. I think your FFIL should know how to handle it best. It's your FI's family, so someone should be able to grab Grandma & Auntie from his side. It shouldn't be you or your FI if you have vendor meetings but I would go out of my way to make some plans for another relative to do it.
Ouch. That's a tricky one. I would try to arrange a shuttle, taxi, etc. from the airport for them and pay. It shows that you are appreciative of them coming, and although you are very busy, you are still thougtful.
Are they elderly? If no one in your family can pick them up, then you should arrange transportation for them.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 93 |
| beargoose | 55 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 51 |
| ndreighton | 51 |
| Mrs.KMM | 46 |
| BetterSherm | 42 |
| akp0702 | 41 |
| stardustintheeyes | 36 |
| MrsPom | 36 |
| Beckster329 | 36 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| mslovely | 9 |
| Rojocameo | 9 |
| keranos | 7 |
| armychica06 | 4 |
| EricaBee | 4 |
| KitKatNYC | 2 |
 bricon |
2 |
| rebwana | 2 |
| WillyNilly | 2 |
| Sasha2011 | 1 |
Ok, so we're sort of in a dilemma. My FH's favorite aunt sent me, my FH and my FFIL an email saying that her and FH's Grandma were going to be flying in to the city of our wedding on the thursday before the wedding at noon. She also put a note in there saying "Hopefully someone will be able to pick us up." I was a little thrown off by that because we're going to busy from Wednesday on. Being that we're having a destination wedding, we have a lot to get done on our end once we're both there.
I'm kind of at a loss because I don't really know how to handle the situation. I thought it was sort of wrong on her part to assume that my FH or I would be able to pick them up because of how busy we are that week. Plus she didn't really ask, she pretty much told us that one of us needs to be there to pick them up.
What's a girl to do?! My FFIL and FMIL will be there on Thursday but we're all unsure as to what time because they're driving. Oy! A side note: Our wedding is an hour away from my hometown so we're meeting vendors in both places but at certain times on Thursday.
I told my FH that I think they should maybe rent a car, but he thinks we should change our plans around because he doesn't want to tell them that they're "on their own".
Help, bees!!!!