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Help!  Identify this dress!!

To register or not to register???

posted 5 months ago in Gifts and Registries
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    1.
    Member
    780 posts
    Busy bee
    nycbrde2011    June 29, 2012  

     I am having a dilema. I live in Toronto Fi lives in Manhatten. His family is scattered all over the states and mine all over canada. We are having our wedding in the Dominican Republic. It would be a nightmare having our guests drag gifts with them and also a nightmare for us to bring them home. Also for a shower I want to have one but if I did I will be having it here in Toronto but will be moving to Manhattan and only bringing my clothes with me and moving into FIs. We wanted to say that we just wanted money but I think that may be rude. What can i do ????

     
    2.
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    Bee
    811 posts
    Busy bee
    doily    March 2012   Iowa

    If you register, I would put the mailing address of the place you want the gifts sent too. Anymore, people are sending their gifts ahead of time (at least in my experience). I would also use word of mouth through your friends and relatives to gently say that while actual gifts are nice, it would be best if they were sent ahead to such and such place.

     
    3.
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    Busy bee
    nycbrde2011    June 29, 2012  

    @doily:

    Fi wants to put on the invite that we would prefer money?!?? I think he is nuts to say that but he also doesnt want us to get all these gifts we dont need since we are in our 30s and really already own all of our own home furnishings etc. So frustrating

     
    4.
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    Buzzing bee
    Brielle    May 22, 2009  

    @nycbrde2011: You need to find a way to gently explain to your FI that it is NEVER appropriate to mention gifts on an invitation.  NEVER. :)

    Beyond that, he absolutely cannot mention wanting guests to give you money.  What you ARE able to do, however, is to make sure that your immediate family members and best friends know your concerns about people bringing gifts to the wedding so that they may gently suggest to anyone who asks them that it would be best to have the gifts sent to you.  As doily mentioned. just make sure that your registry has the correct address associated with it.

    The good news is that, even if you are registered at several locations, some guests will still give you cash. Your FI can look forward to that. :)

    ETA:  Even though you already have many home furnishings, you may still find something that you do not yet have for your kitchen/dining/home needs (and wants) not only for the present but also for the future.  Fine china, crystal, fine table linens, picture frames, etc., and reasonably priced appliances are all acceptable items to include on a registry.  Also, you may already have towels and sheets, but, sone day, you're going to want to replace them. It can't hurt to register for some additional of these items, even if you already have ones that you love and use. 

     
    5.
    Member
    780 posts
    Busy bee
    nycbrde2011    June 29, 2012  

    The other thing is where to register when alot of the american sites do not accept orders from canadians that are being sent to the states. Do we register with a canadian place and an american place?? ugh or just not register at all?

     
    6.
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    Honey bee
    Ember78    December 15, 2012  

    If you don't register, you will get a ton of gifts you don't want and can't return.

     
    7.
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    391 posts
    Helper bee
    live laugh love    September 29, 2012  

    register! :)

     
    8.
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    105 posts
    Blushing bee
    LyndzJM    June 16, 2012   Canada

    We aren't going to register at all. We've lived together for about 4years and we just don't need much. Most people know this about us, so by not saying anything ( not registering or saying we prefer money) we hope they will assume we'd prefer cash. We've told our close family that's what we're hoping for, so I'm sure it will be spread by word of mouth. Any friends that ask, we just say we have most of what we need, we're trying to save for our honeymoon and leave it at that.  The last few weddings I've been to, neither had registered. I only saw maybe less that a dozen boxed gifts, the rest were cards.. You could have a small American registry and a small Canadian one so people can send you something if they feel they want to

     

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