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I'm sort of in the middle of this dilemma right now too, although I think I know which way I'm going to go. I think we're going to just reserve family tables and a wedding party table, other than that....sit where you like! We're having a fairly informal wedding though. :)
I think you either need lots of extra tables, or at least assigned tables. I'm guessing you were popular in middle school and never had that horrible feeling of wondering around with a tray full of food and looking for a place to sit at the same time? It's so nice to have assigned seats so people don't have to guess, and larger parties and families don't get broken up but can sit together.
As a guest I always prefer having assigned seating. It eliminates the awkwardness of scrambling to find a place to sit and who to sit with.
Our wedding is fairly laid back (outdoor ceremony, buffet style, giant bonfire :)) so assigned seating doesn't really make sense for us. We are, however, reserving a bride and groom immediate family table and a friend table. I don't think I've ever been to a wedding with assigned seating now that I think about it!
You can get away without a table assignment (you dont need to do an actual chart for the individual seat) if you
1) have a casual venue
2) do not have a large reception (# of people)
3) have extra table (s)
otherwise I think you should have one to avoid
1) parties/families being split up because there are only 3 seats and there are 4 of them.
2) People dont feel the need to rush and "claim" their seat which can be annoying, a hassle and honestly not very elegant
3) people stealing chairs from other tables to make their party fit at a table
I have been involved in well over a hundred weddings of various sizes and have never been to a wedding with a seating chart, escort cards, etc.----but in the south we do things differently.
My daughter's wedding had about 450 attendees and we had no issues with seating and no seating chart. We had high top tables for standing, formal tables for seating (only reserved one and that was for grandparents), and a dance floor & photo booth. There were so many different things to do and the food was buffet style.
Most people ate then went to dancing and photo booth or mingling with other guests. We did not want them to feel like they had to sit in assigned seats and stay there.
I definately prefer a seating chart as a guest. The rush to grab a table with those you came with is chaotic. Also, if you don't know many there it is super awkward to have to ask to sit at a table with someone. If you are having even a semi-formal wedding do your guests a favor and do a seating chart. The only time I wouldnn't do one is if it were a very casual backyard BBQ type wedding a PP mentioned.
I'm kind of having the same dilemma-I much prefer having a seating chart because I really hate the awkwardness of finding a table and most of my guests are not going to know each other that well. However, my wedding is very informal so I feel like a seating chart would be out of place. I say if you don't want one, don't do it!
I also prefer a seating chart as a guest. I always get so flustered when it's free-for-all seating because I feel like someone may get left out, or that I may end up sitting with people I have nothing in common with, or something like that. I do agree that the more formal occasions require it, but I think they're good to do at any type of event.
I prefer a seating chart as a guest, so that is what we're doing. I actually just arranged the seating chart this weekend and I'm with you, it was a HUGE pain in the ass, but I know every guest will now be sitting in the best possible spot for them and we avoid all the problems PPs mentioned. We're having a fairly casual sugar shack wedding.
Arranging a seating chart is a huge pain, but it makes you a much better hostess. It is very awkward for people to have to find seats or go around and ask whether seats are taken.
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I'm SERIOUSLY considering NOT having a seating chart. I'd like your opinions! We'll be having a buffet style dinner and honestly, I just don't want the hassle of deciding who to sit where. Perhaps I can have a few "reserved" tables for the bridal party and the parents and grandparents? When it comes down to it... I only care about where about 1/4 of the people coming are going to sit- the rest can fend for themselves! No, really, though... I feel like the more formal events should have seating placement but I don't feel like I need it.
Thoughts? You bees always have the best advice... so I want to hear your opinions!