(Closed) To see or not to see (each other before the ceremony)

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
5111 posts
Bee Keeper

@tdtaylor:  I didn’t do it, but I saw him on the wedding day. We had a DW so I had to sleep in the hotel room with him the night before and sign the marriage license the day of haha. I like that thing where they can talk to each other but don’t see each other for photos…what’s that called?

Post # 4
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I’m against it, personally, and I’m really glad we didn’t see each other, but brides who choose first looks seem to always be happy about it. I think whatever is right for you, just make sure you are SURE and so is your FI about being okay seeing each other. If either of you is unsure about it, I wouldn’t do it.

Post # 5
Member
5111 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh and for the record…I am VERY happy I didn’t see him before the wedding all done up. That moment…unforgettable. His face, was…wow. He was so happy.

Post # 6
Member
598 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I get married in 13 days…EEEKKKKK….but we are not doing a first look. I really wanted the experience of him seeing me as a bride for the first time as I walk down the aisle.  It’s one of the things I am most looking forward to.  To see that reaction will be a memory I cherish my whole life.  HOWEVER, I say you need to be true to yourself, if you want to do a first look, then I say go for it.  Also, as PP have said, make sure you and your FI don’t have doubts before you do it…

Post # 7
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We are doing a first look. And like a PP said, I am also looking forward to the first time he sees me, I feel my FI will actually react more if we are in private. When I ask my FI what is looking forward to the most about our wedding his #1 is first look, #2 is dinner at our sweetheart table. I feel so good about sharing that private moment with just him when we see eachother for the first time. I also love the drama of walking down the aisle as the first time he sees me but I can’t have both. 

Post # 8
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My FI and I are doing a first look. I’m not here to push you to do it – but I will share why it was right for us.

1. When I learned where this tradition came from, I wanted no part of it.  Do you know that it comes from the days when marriages were arranged without the parties meeting? It came about because if the groom saw the bride before the ceremony people were afraid he wouldn’t like the mate he was given and run away. Talk about offensive.

2. It’s bad “luck”….seriously? If luck is all that’s holding you together you’ve got bigger problems.

3. Logisically speaking, it’s a lot easier.  We’ll get 80% of our photos out of the way by not being banned from seeing eachother. That means less time after the ceremony taking pictures and more time enjoying the reception and being with our guests.

4. It makes it a more private moment.  I’m all for sharing some things with the world, but I feel like the first time he sees me in my dress for the big day when it’s just the two of us that it will be SO MUCH more romantic and we’ll have pictures that excude cuteness. We are putting all this work in to have a party in our honor – shouldn’t we have a moment to ourselves to enjoy it? Sounds selfish but it’s your wedding day – you can be selfish that day.

5. We’ll have time to calm down before the wedding.  Seriously – I will need him to reel me back in.

Good luck either way! Let us know what you decide!

Post # 9
Member
974 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Not married yet:  We’ll see each other the day of.  Sleep together the night before and drive 45 miles to where we are getting married in a friend’s back yard, but he won’t see the dress at all before I walk down the isle in it.

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