To send, or not to send…THAT is the question

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
42117 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t see any point in maintaining a so-called friendship with these people. What are you getting out of it?


Post # 5
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

She knows you’re happy for her. You’ve sent her gifts. Be done with it and stop feeling guilty. She made her bed, didn’t she.

Post # 7
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@julies1949:  I mean, 30 years is a long time to just throw away. 

Post # 8
1028 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@Nona99:  Sucky people really do SUCK! I agree with PP that you did your duty (beyond that IMO) so I would leave well enough alone. Sometimes you have to put things to bed and this relationship seems like its one of them. People will suck the life out of you if you let them so I say snip, snip the friendship strings and be happy with Mr.99!

Post # 11
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Nona99:  Yikes.  This is why I dont loan money – adults who ask other adults for loans will always make you the bad guy for having the temerity to actually expecting them to pay their debt.  

If your friend is a user, then good riddance.

If she’s not or has other redeeming qualities, then send the flowers but don’t expect anything in return.

At the end of the day, I don’t believe any act of kindness is ever wasted.  Even if she’s ignores or rejects your gesture now, maybe in time she’ll come around and you can resume your friendship.

Post # 12
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Nona99:  I don’t think pity is a good reason to keep a friendship going. History doesn’t mean anything if the present sucks. I’d save your kindness for someone who deserves it. Did she acknowledge the gifts you already sent? Either way, I don’t think she deserves anything more. 

Post # 13
4163 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Send the flowers to yourself, and send her a lovely baby card if you feel you still have to do something. You’ve already sent a gift-she doesn’t “need” another one after the baby’s born.

Post # 14
6788 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

@Nona99:  If no one sends anything to her, it’s because she’s probably dicked them all over like she did to you. Don’t send anything, OR send something to the baby who is completely innocent in this and the grandchild of your friends.

Post # 16
1028 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@Nona99:  That’s the spirit! Its what YOU deserve so HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Go get sexy for Mr. 99 and PAR-TAY! Tongue Out

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