Post # 1
So I’ve posted quite a bit about my bridezilla friend whose wedding is FINALLY happening (not this Saturday but next Saturday…I’m probably more excited about it being over than she is). A couple of y’all have told me to SAY SOMETHING about her ridiculous demands but I’m not a confrontational person and bought into the whole “it’s my day” (well in her case, 1.5 years. Side note, no one actually means you only get one day when you get engaged. You get however long you’re engaged for to be ridiculous) thing. So I’ve just grit my teeth and bared it.
However. I am ready to say something. The only thing that’s stopping me is the wedding is so close and I don’t know if it’s worth making a fuss over when it’ll all be over in ten days. Y’all tell me what you think:
Her soon to be sister in law stepped up and asked if she could plan the bachelorette party since she’s been out of town the whole time and hasn’t been able to do anything. The bride had vetoed all my bachelorette party ideas and I really wasn’t looking forward to shelling out a ton of $ for what she wanted so I said a resounding YES. Sister in law is taking us to get pedicures and go to a nice a dinner since the bride doesn’t want anything wild for her bachelorette party (we’re all paying for our own except the bride, who we’re all chipping in for. Totally fine with that). After the bride found out what the plan was she texted me to see if it would “be a problem” if we could pay for her to get a manicure too and to go to a nicer resteraunt. That really really rubs me the wrong way. Her sister in law doesn’t have a lot of money and I’ve already shelled out 600+ for her when you combine the expenses of the large, catered shower, the dress, the shoes etc. I told her to talk to sister in law about it since she was in charge of planning.
Then we started talking about the day of. See my previous post about her ridiculous to-do list for all her slaves the day of to set up her entire wedding. My boyfriend is driving two hours to come to her wedding (and to be her photographer as a wedding gift to her) and I wanted to greet him when he comes so he’s not left alone with my awkward parents the entire time. The reception is a whopping 10 minute WALK away from my house since it’s in the next neighborhood over. I asked her if while we’re setting up or during lunch I could go over to my house (he’s going there before the wedding so he and my family can drive over together) and say hi. Nope. Not allowed. She will need me. Even while she’s off getting her hair done and not even in the building, she’ll need my help the entire time setting up and I am not allowed a 30 minute break to greet the guy who is taking her friggin pictures for free. Even prison workers get a break!
Then we talked about the hair issue. There’s a change in the schedule and we are now doing our own hair in the morning At 9 am. “I thought y’all could do everything except put the dresses on in the morning so we can have girl time before I go to spa TEE HEE!” The wedding doesn’t start until the late afternoon and we’ll be setting up the whole time and it’ll look like crap. I asked her if we could set up in the morning and do hair in the afternoon so it doesn’t get messed up moving 30 tables and chairs in the hot sun all day. NOPE. She wants to “be there” when we get ready and she’ll be busy getting beautified herself in the afternoon so we have to do it in the morning.
OH and my maid of honor speech was vetoed because she wants a 5 minute speech and mine clocked in at 8 minutes. Yes she wanted me to time it. And now I need to edit it. Because it doesn’t meet her time criteria by 3 minutes 0_0.
These might seem like little things but when taken with the to-do list and the shower and party demands and the lack of a SINGLE THANK YOU to date for any of this, I am ready to wring her friggin bridezilla neck. My mom has been telling me to say something to her for months now and boy I wish I did back when the demands first started, but part of me thinks that time has past. It’s only 10 days to the wedding. Should I let it go? If not, what should I say?
Post # 3
Regarding leaving for a bit to go see your boyfriend: don’t ASK, tell her that oh by the way you are running over to say hi to your boyfriend at X time. Your are not being held hostage!
That’s incredibly rude about the bachelorette party! I really don’t know how to handle it except to 1. direct her to the other girl (which you did) and 2. tell her sorry but your budgets are limited due to everything else you’ve paid for. It seems like you don’t need to be very polite to her anymore.
I wouldn’t cause too much since it’s almost over, but that is all really annoying! And for the hair, what do the other girls think? Can you band together to explain that you will all be messed up and sweaty from setting up?
Post # 4
To be fair she texted me all boo hoo yesterday about how she’s going to miss being a bride because “I’ve really felt all the love from my friends and family and it’s just been such an amazing time!” I…guess that counts as a thank you? If it does that’ll be the first one I’ve received to date, though you could also read it as “I’m really going to miss all that sweet sweet attention!”
Post # 5
Holy crappoli what a weirdo. Yep, she’s got the Bridezilla in her. I wouldn’t actually give her an option about leaving to greet your man. You tell her that ‘I’m happy to help you, but you can live without me for 30 minutes and you will.’ The bachelorette thiing – eff it, let SIL take care of it since she wanted to. But I think it is incredibly t-word to demand something even bigger (although I am now just thinking about what I recently upgraded for mine…note to self: talk to BM’s about it) for the spa and dinner.
Can you explain what the point of getting ready together is if she’s not getting ready until after the spa? She has zero idea about logisitcs obviously. Make sure you don’t do your make up until afterwards and when your hair looks completely ridic afterwards, shrug your shoulders and say ‘we tried to tell you…’.
I agree with Cheeks225, it’s almost over. Don’t say anything until after.
Post # 6
There are a lot of issues here. 1) Ignore her requests for the bachelorette party. If she makes a fuss, she’ll look like a spoiled brat. 2) I’d give her a time frame when you can help her. “Hey friend. I’ll need to shower after helping set up for your wedding. I’ll help until Xpm, at which point I’ll run home to get ready. I’ll be back by Xpm.” If she throws a fit, explain that you’re trying to help her as much as possible, but you simply have to get cleaned up. 3) I think 8 minutes is pretty long for a Maid/Matron of Honor speech. The other guests will thank you for cutting it down.
Post # 7
If she still won’t budge about the hair thing apply to her vanity….tell her “what if our hair gets messed up, imagine how bad that will look in the photographs, I mean what if I’m not able to get it back to how it was perfectly styled??”.
If she still was being a bridezilla, knowing me, I would make sure my hair got messed up getting things set up and smiled my way all through her pictures that day just to prove a point, lol.
As for your bf, go see him. You can tell her he had some photography questions and you figured you could answer them for him without adding another worry to your bride.
Post # 8
@Dizbee: Do you want to continue the friendship? At this point, I would wait until after the wedding and tell her your feelings are hurt you never got a ‘thank you’ for all you did.
Please, by ALLLL means, when YOU marry, leave her out of your wedding party. I bet that when it is your turn she is not be a kind as your are in following Bridesmaid or Best Man directions.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t even ask to leave to see my Fiance, I’d just go and tell them I’d be back in 30 minutes. You are not a prisoner! As far as the hair, personally I would probably do a half-ass job on it in the morning and then re-do it later if she insists. Having you move tables and such after having your hair and makeup done is really ridiculous though.
And yeah…not to be mean but I’d cut that speech down anyway. I think most people get bored after like 2-3 minutes lol.
Post # 10
Man I feel your pain! I went through the same thing with a friend of mine. You want Bridezilla I had the Queen Bridezilla! Just to name a few things, I spent just over $1800 on her wedding, she had 2 bachelorette parties because she didnt want her sister at the wild one so we had to throw her another one, she had an engagament party that we all paid for, she made us get our hair cut and dyed a week before the wedding, she insisted we all go for a few tans before the wedding, our dresses were over $300 and ugly I might add, she told us what our wedding gift to her would be (which was a $400 bar b que fom the bridesmaids), I mean this is just to name a few things I could go on and on and on.
So anyways what Im getting at here is that was 3 years ago and to this day Im still sooo pissed about it! I wish with every ounce of my being tha I had said something to her but for some reason we all sucked it up and did what she wanted. I am still friends with her but it burns me every time I think about it. I think you should say something to her even if its just about seeing your boyfriend “You know we’ve done a lot for you, gone above and beyond and all Im asking for is to see him quick, I dont think thats too much to ask after everything Ive done for you” or something like that. Believe me, if you dont put your foot down at some point you will regret it I promise you, look at me 3 years later and Im still super pissed about it! All the bridesmaids are still mad to this day, we talk about it sometimes and we all get riled up about it still that we were soooo stupid to not say something to her and stand up for ourselves!
Post # 11
My jaw literally dropped when you said she asked you guys to pay for her pedicure. I think I’m more pissed at her parents for raising such a spoiled brat (is that going too far?)
I’m with the other girls in the just tell don’t ask department…go see your man whenever you want.
Maybe all of you can have an intervention and just tell her is makes ZERO sense to do hair and make-up before set-up/decorating…if she really wants to see you guys get ready then she should have someone else be doing the dirty work.
Post # 12
1. say something for sure.
2. I know you’re in my city and I’m thankful you are not bringing her to my salon. 😉
3. Go see your man t your leisure.
4. Push the hair issue, you guys are going to be miserable in the heat And humidity. Byoull want to be fresh and feeling good through this last bit of your nightmare.
Post # 13
Post # 14
I’d also push the hair issue. Bring up how bad it will look in pictures with all your hair falling out after she uses you for slave labor. She sounds bridezilla-y enough that it might work on her.
At this point, I’d wait until her wedding is over to see if the wedding industrial complex in her has faded a bit, then tell her that some of her actions were hurtful to you. If she stays the way she is now, well, I suggest you find yourself a new friend.
Post # 15
Go see him, dont even say anything to her, F*** her at this point she is being a total Bridezilla and this is total slave labor. That humidity will not bode well for the hair, and tell her that, maye she will cave, as PP suggested.