To STD or not STD that is the question.

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
481 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We’re having a super small ceremony (parents, siblings, and nieces/nephews only) and only sent STDs to those invited to ceremony. However, we’re having kind of a large reception, and we’ll be sending separate invitations for that when we send out the ceremony invitations. 

The reception invitations will clearly state “please join us for dinner, music, etc. in celebration of our marriage” or something along those lines so there’s no confusion.

Sending a STD is pretty much a precursor to an invitation (to the ceremony), in my opinion, so we decided to not send them to everyone to avoid any confusion.

Post # 3
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would be confused if I received a STD and then only an invite to the reception. I would only send them to people who’ll be there all day.

Post # 4
65 posts
Worker bee

I’m in the UK as well, I sent save the dates (and invites- half of our guests are based in the states) to those invited to the ceremony / wedding breakfast.

Our evening guests are mostly my partner’s work colleagues so they’re getting Paperless Post invites as we don’t have addresses for them / don’t want to hand them out at work as it is a giant office and a limited venue. 

Post # 5
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Also in the UK. I have never recieved a STD when I was only invited to the evending reception. We are going to a wedding next week to which we are invited to the evening reception but FIs parents are invited all day, they got a STD and we didn’t. The bride is quite etiquette concious generally so I would assume that this is the correct way to do things.

Post # 6
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - The Runnymede Hotel

To be fair, from a fellow UK bride, Save the Dates (I’m sorry, can’t call them STD’s! Doesn’t anyone know what else that stands for?!) are not common or expected. I’ve only heard about them in the past few years and I think they’re unneccessary unless you are having a destination wedding.

You may have another reason they are neccessary. I would agree with the others and not send them to evening guests. Purely because for the evening guests it’s not really expected that they ‘save the day’, more like they can pop along in the evening at their convenience.

Post # 7
1807 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Honestly I think save the dates are a waste of money (unless it’s a destination wedding)…people get the invite enough in advance.

Post # 9
8192 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You won’t get dumped on in the etiquette world for having a small ceremony and large reception, it’s the reverse that is considered rude. If there is anyone you especially  would like to have a heads up about your reception, the best thing to do IMO is to communicate with them personally by way of a phone call, note or email. 

Post # 10
1672 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

waddle:  After my experience I would say no unless you are doing a weekday or have a lot of out of country guests. STDs are a recent trend and plenty of people don’t really know what they are lol.

Post # 12
177 posts
Blushing bee

Save the dates are also useful if the wedding is during a holiday time when people may otherwise travel. My wedding is 12-27 so I am doing STDs so that people can decide if they will travel for CHristmas or stay here so they can attend.

Post # 13
18 posts
  • Wedding: January 2015

Can I ask you what wording you are using for your reception/party only invitations?  I will be doing the same, yet I’m struggling coming up with the appropriate wording.

Can anyone share their wording with me?


Leave a comment

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors