To Submit, or Not To Submit?

posted 3 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@chercee:  …..I don’t believe that submission has a place in our marriage, I trust my husband, I put him above all things, but we’re equals…I bow to no man

Post # 4
Member
2581 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

@chercee:  Personally, whilst I have no problems with him earning more money, or me doing more of the housework, I could never consider myself anything less than an equal to him, and he thinks the same way.

We are equally educated people, with equal rights in every other sense – why would it be right to bring a self-imposed hierarchy into our relationship? You can still be a housewife and be his equal. Why, all of a sudden, should your thoughts and opinions matter less than his within your own home than they would outside of your house? Why are you suddenly a ‘lesser’ human at home than elsewhere?

It seems positively bizarre to me, but it is obviously down to what makes you happy.

Post # 5
Member
3237 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think the term ‘submisive’ often get’s taken the wrong way. It’s doesn’t mean that your husband is abusive and you take it. In the bible, right after it talks about wives submitting to husbands, it says for husbands to love their wifes like Christ loves the church. So husbands are to treat their wives extremely well. We are to submit to them as they are the head of the household.

I do my best to submit but I am pretty outspoken. He is the main decision maker though. It’s a joint effort with most things. Christ takes care of his people (the church) so it’s my husbands job to take care of me. My job to take care of him.

It also has nothing to do with being ‘less of a person’ than him. God says that the man should be the spiritual leader of the house. If that’s the case, I should look to my husband for guidance. Obviously, your husband would have to be putting Christ before everything else for that to work.

Post # 6
Member
3777 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

We are equals in our marriage, and I refused to have any language of submission in our Catholic ceremony.

Post # 7
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Post # 8
Member
6504 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I do not see my husband as the head of the household. We are equals in my eyes. Even if we were to take the traditional gender roles in our household (we currently make the same amount and both cook and do cleaning/laundry) I would not consider him to be the head of the household.

Post # 9
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Birdee106:  +1 I was pretty much about to write the same thing.  

Post # 10
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m not a very religious person, but I cringe every time I hear this is someone’s ceremony.

Post # 11
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@chercee:  

@Nona99:  +1  I will not be using any derivation or synonym of “submit” in our vows. I respect and love my FH but I will not submit to him unequivocally. I do not recognize him as the “head” of our household either. In some realms he’s quite a bit more knowledgable and in other areas, I’m the point person – this is not a black and white issue in our home.

Post # 12
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Nona99:  THIS

While DH is a christian, I am not, and if he believed this, then I don’t think he’d be DH!  We make decisions together (and actually most of the time, I make them, because I’m the one that will sit and do research about things).  We both take care of the household (he may actually do more of the manual chores – dishes, laundry, etc) because I do more of the budgetary/life management stuff.

We both work full time, and even though he makes more than me right now (by a whopping $1k/year!), there have been times in our relationship where either one of us has made more (periods of unemployment/school/etc).  Has never changed anything.

I definitely do not consider him to be the “head of household”

 

Post # 13
Member
3777 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Birdee106:  Out of curiosity, as far as spiritual leaders go, what if my DH is agnostic? I will be the spiritual leader of our household when there are children. How does that fit in with the biblical idea of submission?

Post # 14
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@chercee:  The bible calls for both spouses to submit to EACH OTHER before it says that wives are to submit to their husbands…

Submission is not a horrible thing. I am a submissive wife, but I am by no means a door mat. My husband submits to me. I submit to my husband and it is BEAUTIFUL.

Women have no problems submitting to someone else’s husband (their bosses) but all of a sudden have a problem submitting to their husband. It’s perplexing to me.

Post # 15
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

…also, as much as I love Mr. 99 and believe in him, what if he’s being an idiot?  I’m just supposed to let that slide????

Post # 16
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We are religious (Catholic) and our church does NOT promote this idea. Literal interpretation of the bible is not for us. 

We are equal.

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