Post # 1
Let me preface this by saying I am NOT trying to start a big argument or debate or anything. I’d love to hear everyone’s different opinions, and I’d love it even more if it could be done in a respectful, loving manner. Please! 🙂
Ok. My FH and I both label ourselves as “Christian,” though we don’t go to church every Sunday, and we technically come from different Christian traditions. (He is Catholic and I am Protestant – United Church of Canada.) We are having a Christ-centred ceremony, and aim to also have a Christ-centred marriage.
I would describe myself, and also my FH and our relationship, as more traditional – particularly where gender roles are concerned. He makes the bulk of our money; I have a part-time job (work @ home) and do the housework. It is an arrangement we both love (if I could quit my job and be a full-time housewife, I completely would) and it works for us.
How do you ladies feel about the call to women to be submissive to their husbands? How does this work in your marriage? Most of the time, I easily recognize my FH’s role as the head of our household, and I do it joyfully; however, once in a while it’s a little harder.
I’m not even really sure what I’m looking for from this thread, other than some insight. I’m not looking to be attacked for our traditional arrangement, so please don’t respond if that’s your purpose in posting.
Post # 3
@chercee: …..I don’t believe that submission has a place in our marriage, I trust my husband, I put him above all things, but we’re equals…I bow to no man
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
@chercee: Personally, whilst I have no problems with him earning more money, or me doing more of the housework, I could never consider myself anything less than an equal to him, and he thinks the same way.
We are equally educated people, with equal rights in every other sense – why would it be right to bring a self-imposed hierarchy into our relationship? You can still be a housewife and be his equal. Why, all of a sudden, should your thoughts and opinions matter less than his within your own home than they would outside of your house? Why are you suddenly a ‘lesser’ human at home than elsewhere?
It seems positively bizarre to me, but it is obviously down to what makes you happy.
Post # 5
I think the term ‘submisive’ often get’s taken the wrong way. It’s doesn’t mean that your husband is abusive and you take it. In the bible, right after it talks about wives submitting to husbands, it says for husbands to love their wifes like Christ loves the church. So husbands are to treat their wives extremely well. We are to submit to them as they are the head of the household.
I do my best to submit but I am pretty outspoken. He is the main decision maker though. It’s a joint effort with most things. Christ takes care of his people (the church) so it’s my husbands job to take care of me. My job to take care of him.
It also has nothing to do with being ‘less of a person’ than him. God says that the man should be the spiritual leader of the house. If that’s the case, I should look to my husband for guidance. Obviously, your husband would have to be putting Christ before everything else for that to work.
Post # 6
We are equals in our marriage, and I refused to have any language of submission in our Catholic ceremony.
Post # 8
I do not see my husband as the head of the household. We are equals in my eyes. Even if we were to take the traditional gender roles in our household (we currently make the same amount and both cook and do cleaning/laundry) I would not consider him to be the head of the household.
Post # 9
@Birdee106: +1 I was pretty much about to write the same thing.
Post # 10
I’m not a very religious person, but I cringe every time I hear this is someone’s ceremony.
Post # 11
@Nona99: +1 I will not be using any derivation or synonym of “submit” in our vows. I respect and love my FH but I will not submit to him unequivocally. I do not recognize him as the “head” of our household either. In some realms he’s quite a bit more knowledgable and in other areas, I’m the point person – this is not a black and white issue in our home.
Post # 12
While DH is a christian, I am not, and if he believed this, then I don’t think he’d be DH! We make decisions together (and actually most of the time, I make them, because I’m the one that will sit and do research about things). We both take care of the household (he may actually do more of the manual chores – dishes, laundry, etc) because I do more of the budgetary/life management stuff.
We both work full time, and even though he makes more than me right now (by a whopping $1k/year!), there have been times in our relationship where either one of us has made more (periods of unemployment/school/etc). Has never changed anything.
I definitely do not consider him to be the “head of household”
Post # 13
@Birdee106: Out of curiosity, as far as spiritual leaders go, what if my DH is agnostic? I will be the spiritual leader of our household when there are children. How does that fit in with the biblical idea of submission?
Post # 14
@chercee: The bible calls for both spouses to submit to EACH OTHER before it says that wives are to submit to their husbands…
Submission is not a horrible thing. I am a submissive wife, but I am by no means a door mat. My husband submits to me. I submit to my husband and it is BEAUTIFUL.
Women have no problems submitting to someone else’s husband (their bosses) but all of a sudden have a problem submitting to their husband. It’s perplexing to me.
Post # 15
…also, as much as I love Mr. 99 and believe in him, what if he’s being an idiot? I’m just supposed to let that slide????
Post # 16
We are religious (Catholic) and our church does NOT promote this idea. Literal interpretation of the bible is not for us.
We are equal.