Post # 1
Should I tell my SO that my ex keeps harassing me with phone calls and texts. I’ve blocked both his cell phone and work phone. I was hoping doing so would cause him to stop harassing me so I wouldn’t feel it necessary to involve SO. Also, we have talked about moving in together soon. BTW…the ex and I were together for almost 7 years and I have repeatedly told him to stop contacting me or I was going to get a restraining order. In reality though no threats have been made so I don’t believe this situation would even be granted a restraining order from the court. I’ve kept this from SO till now because I didn’t want it to hinder our relationship. I know if he had an ex harassing him I would want it stopped immediately. What should I do? Thanks for any advice.
Post # 3
If it was me, I would tell him. Honesty is the best policy. You don’t want to get into a situation where you don’t say anything for a long while and then when you finally do, he wonders why you waited so long to share this with him.
Besides, maybe if you tell him, he can back you up? A little muscle never hurts!
Post # 4
Of course you should tell him! It’s odd to keep something like that from your SO? Maybe SO can help you get your ex to leave you alone since he doesn’t seem to be getting the hint properly what with you blocking his number and threatening a restraining order and all. It’s bound to blow up at some point, and then you’ll also have to deal with the “why were you keeping this a secret from me” problem that’s in the making here.
Post # 5
I would tell him of course! Why would you keep something like this from him? Someone harrassing his SO, I think he would want to know!
Post # 6
@MissBlessedOne: I’m no lawyer (I’m not even American) but I think what is happening meets the definition of “stalking” on this page, which would mean you could get a restraining order in Tennessee:
And yes of course I would tell my SO.
Post # 7
@RipleyC: I’m afraid it’s going to blow up like you said and if the roles were reversed I would be wondering why he was keeping it a secret from me. I don’t know what I can do to stop this though. Even if I do tell SO (which I’m about 100% certain I should after the advice I’ve received here) I don’t know what he could do to stop him. I mean we are all adults here. I just want more than anything for the past to be the past and to start my new life with SO. Thanks for the help!
Post # 8
I would tell him, even if it stops of its own accord he may feel hurt that you did not share this with him. But if you are worried about how he may react/ worried that he may look at it as you needing to be “rescued” then make sure you tell him clearly why you’re telling him. If its because you want him to so something, fine, but if you are merely telling him so he knows and you DON’T want him to do anything then make sure he knows that.
Post # 9
@paula1248: Since I blocked his number he calls me from blocked numbers so I really have no proof it’s him anymore. I guess I could unblock him for awhile so I can have the proof of his harrassment. It is also on record of him coming to my house when I wouldnt answer his phone calls and I called the police and they just pretty much told him to never let it happen again. Thank you for the info, it helped.
Post # 10
@MissBlessedOne: What would you want if the situations were reversed? I know I would want my FI to tell me if he were being harassed by an ex, so we could handle it together. As for the harassment, document EVERYTHING with dates, times and details. I personally would contact the police, even if they don’t have enough to press charges now, they can give you advice and at the very least, contact your ex and give him a scare.
Post # 11
I would tell him. I wouldn’t want my SO to find out any other way. I feel like not disclosing things like this can make your significant other wonder why you didn’t tell him about it earlier, whether that’s founded or not.
Post # 12
I would tell him. I got a couple of unwanted FB messages from an ex and immediately told FI.
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
Definitely tell him. It’s not like you are inviting the attention from your ex.
Post # 14
@MissBlessedOne: Communication is one of the foundations of a relationship. I tell my FI everything and he does the same. It would be much worse if your FI found out later on his own rather than you telling him because then he will assume you have something to hide.
Post # 15
You should tell him unless you just started dating this guy. No one likes crazy ex drama when they first meet someone. Otherwise, let him in on this.
Post # 16
Yes tell him and get a restraining order if he continues to harass you!