To tell or not to tell SO?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

If it was me, I would tell him. Honesty is the best policy. You don’t want to get into a situation where you don’t say anything for a long while and then when you finally do, he wonders why you waited so long to share this with him. 

Besides, maybe if you tell him, he can back you up? A little muscle never hurts!

Post # 4
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Of course you should tell him! It’s odd to keep something like that from your SO? Maybe SO can help you get your ex to leave you alone since he doesn’t seem to be getting the hint properly what with you blocking his number and threatening a restraining order and all. It’s bound to blow up at some point, and then you’ll also have to deal with the “why were you keeping this a secret from me” problem that’s in the making here.

Post # 5
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

I would tell him of course! Why would you keep something like this from him? Someone harrassing his SO, I think he would want to know!

Post # 8
Member
2330 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would tell him, even if it stops of its own accord he may feel hurt that you did not share this with him. But if you are worried about how he may react/ worried that he may look at it as you needing to be “rescued” then make sure you tell him clearly why you’re telling him. If its because you want him to so something, fine, but if you are merely telling him so he knows and you DON’T want him to do anything then make sure he knows that. 

Post # 10
Member
1226 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@MissBlessedOne:  What would you want if the situations were reversed? I know I would want my FI to tell me if he were being harassed by an ex, so we could handle it together. As for the harassment, document EVERYTHING with dates, times and details. I personally would contact the police, even if they don’t have enough to press charges now, they can give you advice and at the very least, contact your ex and give him a scare.

Post # 11
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee

I would tell him. I wouldn’t want my SO to find out any other way. I feel like not disclosing things like this can make your significant other wonder why you didn’t tell him about it earlier, whether that’s founded or not.

Post # 12
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I would tell him.  I got a couple of unwanted FB messages from an ex and immediately told FI. 

Post # 13
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Definitely tell him. It’s not like you are inviting the attention from your ex.

Post # 14
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MissBlessedOne:  Communication is one of the foundations of a relationship. I tell my FI everything and he does the same. It would be much worse if your FI found out later on his own rather than you telling him because then he will assume you have something to hide.

Post # 15
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You should tell him unless you just started dating this guy. No one likes crazy ex drama when they first meet someone. Otherwise, let him in on this.

 

Post # 16
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Yes tell him and get a restraining order if he continues to harass you!

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