Post # 1
So FI and I are going early next week to pick the ring up from the jewelery store (it’s still being set). My question is should he tell his parents and my parents before “proposing”? (obviously it won’t be a surprise to me, but they don’t know that)
I told him there was no need to “ask my father’s permission” because I am not his property and my family isn’t super traditional about things like that. I did suggest, however, that he give them a heads up. And I feel like his parents would appreciate knowing beforehand…they like to feel included in these types of things.
So should be tell my parents and his parents, just my parents, or should we surprise everyone?
What did you and your FI do?
Post # 3
I knew when I was getting proposed to, and we kept it a secret from our parents. They already knew it was coming sooner or later. I did tell my mom that I thought it was coming “soon”, but that’s only because I could barely keep my mouth shut.
Post # 4
He asked my mom for permission and she still tells people about it 🙂
Post # 5
My FI asked my dad for permission ages before he proposed, so I guess both my parents knew it was coming at some point. His parents also sort of knew, but not exactly when. He then proposed on Bermuda when we were there on our Easter trip – it had occurred to me that it might happen, but I was still SO surprised. Once we got back to the hotel I was so exited that I blogged about it, THEN realised that I should perhaps call my parents. However, as they were in South Africa I couldn’t reach them at the time – so in the end they found out about it through my grandma that had read the blog post. 🙂
Post # 6
neither of our parents knew. as far as i know my dad didn’t care that he didn’t “ask permission.” he may have even thought it was weird if he did ask.
Post # 7
Although I knew we would be getting engaged soon, the actual proposal was a suprise (and without a ring). We told his parents right away after he proposed, but I didn’t tell my parents until my ring arrived a week or two later (I kept putting it off because I was nervous about their reactions, although they were actually really excited). I avoided saying anything on Facebook until I told my parents.
ETA: I just re-read your post and saw that he isn’t actually proposing until he gets the ring – in that case, I’d for sure wait til it’s official to tell them.
Post # 8
FI told my Dad he planned to propose the following day, my Dad had the option to tell Mum/Sis or keep it to himself. Cheeky bugger choose to keep it to himself so everyone (including me!) was surprised! It was a lovely moment telling my Mum and Sis, they both burst into tears. It also made my Dad feel special and important, like the keeper of the secret which I know he loved 🙂
So I vote either just tell Dad (sort of traditional) or surprise everyone!
Post # 9
I voted for tell your parents.
He talked to both of my parents separately (divorced), but more as a heads up (as you said), rather than asking permission. My dad said he really appreciated, and my mom was touched. My dad and I have had a tumultuous relationship since he left my mom (a long time ago), and I think my dad liked that he went to him first to let him know it was going to happen.
However, he also told his parents, 2 brothers and SIL, but I kind of wish he hadn’t. While I knew it was coming and a general timeline, I also felt like everyone else knew and it turned into less of a surprise and more of a “we knew it was coming sometime”.
ETA: he also told one of my sisters that he’s pretty close with – I didn’t mind, she was super cute and excited about it
Post # 10
Both sets of parents expected that we’d get engaged one day, but he surprised me with the proposal and then we told our parents immediately after. 🙂
Post # 11
@mepayne: We are about to move away together so I know our parents all know it’s coming (or hope it’s coming…especially the grandparents) before we move. My mom even tried to convince us to elope last month during our family ski vacation…and I’m pretty sure she was serious haha.
@MrsRichard: That’s funny! And if he should be asking anyone permission it probably should be my mom over my dad! Haha she is definitely the decision-maker.
@eocenia: That is too funny!!! At least they weren’t blindsided! Bermuda must be a great place to get engaged! So pretty.
@li612: That’s exactly how my dad is…when my brother-in-law asked permission to propose to my older sister, I believe his exact words were “Ummm…go for it!”
@loving_life: I am a little nervous about their reactions…not sure why because they love him and I get along with his family, but it’s still just a big thing to tell them! I plan to keep it off of facebook for a while since we will be having a relatively long engagement and I don’t want people pressuring us to plan so soon.
Post # 12
We waited. The only person I told was my best friend because I wanted to be sure she was there so I told her as soon as we started looking at rings 🙂
Post # 13
@FauxBoho: Haha, I’m not sure my dad likes that kind of pressure!
@medbride: If we tell anyone it’ll just be our parents because I want to surprise everyone else! We’re still a bit young (young overall, but where we are from it’s not young! haha) but plan a long engagement so I think it’ll be a bit more of a surprise to our siblings, friends, etc.
@dodgercpkl: I seem to be leaning towards that idea since everyone seems to agree lol! Since I can’t be surprised, I suppose everyone else should be!
Post # 14
@kris325: I totally forgot I told my best friend too! Haha…I needed an outsider to confirm our ring choice lol but she doesn’t know when it’s coming!