Post # 1
I have always had body issues but after my wedding I completely fell of the wagon and stopped exercising and ate worse than usual…
I am obese and never, ever felt pretty…My husband says I am beautiful, but you know, he is my husband!
Every day, when I get dressed my main concern is to cover up as much as I can, so my belly is disguised, my arms (and stretch marks) are not visible, etc.
I have never talked about these to anyone but do you, overweight girls like me, feel pretty at all? Please I do not mean my great personality, my smile I mean physically attractive?
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I feel pretty. I am overweight, but I’ve come to have a really healthy relationship with my body. I think for me an important thing was to treat my body well. I may be overweight, but I’m not unhealthy. I appreciate my body for everything it does for me. It’s hard not to love a body that can run 13.1 miles or that can get me to work every day on a bicycle.
Sure, I have moments when I look at my arms and get depressed about how ful they are… especially when I’m trying on clothing and I can’t buy a top because my arms are too big for the sleeves, or when I look at the way my belly lumps over and under my belly button, or when my thighs rub together so much that my pants fray a few inches below my crotch along the inseem. But, I don’t let myself indulge in these feelings.
I also remind myself of the weight I have lost (about 50 lbs–pregnancy aside… right now I’m almost back up to my heaviest, but when the baby vacates in a few days, my weight will drop).
When I was beating myself up about my appearance, that wasn’t giving me the motivation to improve it and it wasn’t helping me present a happy, pleasant, self-confident demeanor to others… it was just allowing me to sink into a spiral of depression that made me fatter and feel uglier. At some point, you have to take charge and say that you love yourself as you are. And if you then lose some weight, great, but if now, you can be happy as you are.
I know it seems silly, but it really is all in your ehad and all about your perspective. You have control over that. You can convince yourself that you are beautiful.
Post # 4
I’m overweight, a size 16/18, and my self confidence and love for myself and my body couldn’t be higher. It’s all about mindset, and deciding that you are going to love yourself every day. Sure, I have my days when everything looks terrible on me, and the days when I feel frumpy. But when I look in the mirror I see all the positives. I see my fabulous curves, hourglass shape, my great skin, and my smile. I feel like my mind and self confidence is in such a good place that I could feel this good at a size 2 or 22.
Post # 5
Do I feel pretty? Most days, I’d have to say no. Very, very no. Sometimes, I have moments of feeling pretty-ish, but they don’t last too long. I know it has everything to do with my confidence in myself. I just don’t feel pretty. Maybe passable is a better word?
My weight problem is the #1 factor in the way I feel about myself. Though I’ve been VERY bad this past Christmas, I will be back on track within the next week and hopefully I’ll end up at a weight that will allow me to feel comfortable within my own skin.
I’m sure other bees are going through the same issue I am and I absolutely envy the stronger bees who have all sorts of confidence in themselves. Hope we all become as positive as you!
Post # 6
i have days where i do. when i have makeup on, and my hair’s done, i definitely feel pretty. but the rest of the time? nope. that’s the way i’ve always been though. i’ve accepted this fact, and it’s not changing any time soon. i’ve tried all kinds of diets, and nothing works due to an underactive thyroid and some other medical issues. that being said, i’m “comfortable” in my own skin. i’m okay with my body. i don’t like how i look when i’m smaller. i strugged with an eating disorder in high school, and i got down to the smallest size i ever was (12/14). and i looked awful. my bones stuck out, my skin hung. i didn’t like it. i’m much happier around a 16/18. which is a couple sizes away from where i am now. i know i can get there again, it’s just gonna take a major lifestyle change. and i’m not ready to do that yet.
that was long and rambly. sorry.
long story short: 50% of the time, i feel pretty. the other 50%, i don’t. but my FI tells me i’m beautiful every day. so if he thinks i’m beautiful, that’s what matters.
Post # 7
I am a size 18, 5’8″ and I feel pretty… most of the time. On a daily basis I do, but I think a lot of that has to do with being able to control how I see myself. For example, when I get ready in the morning I always look at my outfit in my full-length mirror but I do that depending on what angles are best on me and that’s really how I see myself (the old mirror vs. real life debate, sheesh!).
However, I HATE HATE HATE candid photos of me! I always feel horrible after looking at them because they’re not flattering at all. I’ll look at them and just see my weird nose, my fat arms, my cottage cheese thunder thighs, and the that apparently in real life, I do in fact have a slight muffin top. Ugh. It’s horrible sometimes.. and I am somewhat dreading wedding photos because of this. But FI loves me even at my worst, and he really helps me keep my head up. I don’t dislike myself enough to do anything major about it because although I hate parts of me on occassion, I guess I really do like how my body looks in general. I have an hourglass figure and I am proportioned well.. it just sucks when see an unflattering picture of myself and I realize all my flaws that I don’t see every day!
Post # 8
I’m a UK size 14-16 (US 10-12) and I don’t feel that my weight has any bearing on how pretty I am. I’m overweight but I don’t think being thin would make me any prettier.
Post # 9
Absolutely! Like @mrsSonthebeach:, I really appreciate my body for what it allows me to do in life. I appreciate it’s capacity to be strong and capable. I am so grateful to have legs that allow me to run and ride a bicycle that I don’t care if they have cellulite. I am so grateful to have arms that allow me to hug my husband that I don’t care if they are bigger than what most people would like. Don’t get me wrong, I am not so lacking in vanity that I don’t sometimes wish I weighed less than I do, but when I think about people in this world who would give anything to be able to walk or lift a spoon to feed themselves, I find it difficult to hate my body. It is my vessel for this world and the only body I will ever have.
Post # 10
I feel fabulous. You need to pick something about yourself that makes you feel happy and not focus on negative things. I’m not sure why as a society we are taught be to asashmed of our bodies if they are not airbrushed perfection. But you have to rock who you are because confidence is the key to happiness and you need to be secure with how you are.
Post # 11
I think I’m pretty, but I don’t feel pretty. I’ve started working out more and trying to eat healthier though. I’m not concerned too much about the number on the scale, but I think if I start getting more energy, seeing my face thin out, having my clothes become looser, etc, I will feel prettier.
Post # 12
I’m at an all time high, so no, I don’t feel pretty. Especially during this wedding dress try-on adventure. However, when I’m only 25-40 pounds lighter (albeit still “overweight”) I do feel pretty. Now I just feel fat and gross. BRIDAL BOOTCAMP (what i’m calling the next 4 months of diet / exercise hell) starts tomorrow. Then I plan on maintaining with a healthy lifestyle change that I can maintain a little better than I have the past couple of years.
Post # 13
I’m 20 pounds overweight, and I’d have to say no. There is a lot I can’t stand about myself. I hope it all comes together on my wedding day :/
Post # 14
I feel pretty, so therefore I am pretty. Weight has nothing to do with it. Confidence does.
There are lots of thin people who don’t feel pretty and have low self esteem and i know a lot of chubbier girls who are gorgeous because they feel it and rock it. That’s what I believe the phrase “beauty comes from within means”. It’s not about a great personality, sense of humor ect. It’s about truly believing you are beautiful and that comes out and that’s what people see.
Post # 15
Most days, I’d have to say I feel anywhere between pretty and gorgeous. But that isn’t how I used to feel — I used to have a horrible body image and never think I was pretty. A couple of years ago, I started taking Zumba classes and working out. I lost a little bit of weight, but I’m still what’s considered “obese” – however, through that experience I learned to love my body for how it could move and have a good relationship. I started wearing colours and clothes that highlighted the positive aspects of my body vs. covering up the negatives and making an effort every day with my makeup, hair and jewelry.
Now, this is just me, but my biggest advice for anyone is to try and find ways to love and appreciate your body for what it can do. Try yoga or just go on walks – the movement will boost endorphins, and you’ll grow to really love what your body does for you. Maybe you’ll lose weight, maybe you won’t – don’t make that a priority or a focal point.
Start a journal and write down the things you love about yourself, physical or not, every day. Look in the mirror and only focus on what you like, even if it’s just that you love the shape of your lips or your fingernails.
Post # 16
I’m going to be honest and say at my heaviest I really didn’t feel pretty. I have quite delicate features and I simply didn’t suit having the extra weight around my face. Having lost a few pounds I’d say I feel much prettier. Part of that is confidence, feeling generally healthier and being happier with my overall appearance. It’s very noticable on my face when I gain or lose weight, so personally my weight strongly affects my ‘prettiness’. That’s not to say there aren’t girls bigger than I ever was who don’t look AMAZING – there are, and I’m insanely jealous. I’m just not someone who suits it.