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AMEN! I wish more people would understand how practical this is instead of getting offended at the mere thought that the couple could possibly be asking for money instead of "stuff"
Ugh, I hate attending showers. I'm only having one b/c my BM's/MOH are insisting giving me one. I don't like the argument that they are giving me a great party as a guest in regards to the shower as I would rather not attend but usually feel forced into it. Now for the wedding I wouldn't mind that principle thought.
But saying I should remember the shower is about the couple and respect their wishes to give them money, sorry but I don't agree. I would LOVE to be able to say this but it just sounds all kind of wrong.
That's a really good point, that it's kind of 'rude' for guests to demand that the bride open actual gifts at the shower they know she doesn't need or want and will have to go through the trouble of returning. Maybe we've become too sensitive about this topic. I really wish I had gotten $ at my showers instead of gifts, there was very little we actually needed since I've been living on my own for 7 years in a small fully furnished 1 bedroom apartment, so we ended up just registering for upgrades and for our 'eventual' home. And it's impossible nowadays to return anything for cash, only store credit available at 99.9% of registry stores. So you end up with a bunch of credit to stores you may or may not even be able to redeem it depending on your needs, or having to sell your gifts on Ebay for a huge loss.
As a guest, I always give cash. Usually for a shower I will give cash and a little something funny on the side. The bride ALWAYS gets super excited to receive it, and appears really appreciative that someone was thoughtful enough to give what she actually wanted..
@jemd: A poem begging for cash. Charming.
How inconsiderate of guests to try to select a gift that they foolishly think will please the bride and groom!
"AMEN! I wish more people would understand how practical this is instead of getting offended at the mere thought that the couple could possibly be asking for money instead of "stuff""
Bridal couples shouldn't be "asking" their guests for anything other than to come to the wedding and reception.
@moderndaisy: "That's a really good point, that it's kind of 'rude' for guests to demand that the bride open actual gifts at the shower they know she doesn't need or want and will have to go through the trouble of returning."
OH. MY. GOODNESS.
Please tell me that was a joke?
What is the significance of the umbrella?
I think I'm going with a pirate themed shower. I'll provide the open treasure chest and the guests can dump their gold doubloons or precious jewels in it.
I'm pretty confident that if I told my grandma "she should give me money because it was an event for my wedding and everyone should do their best to make the day wonderful for me and that I should be the center of attention and she should realize I have so much to do and do not need to have to go returning all kinds of goods I don't need to stores" she would slap me across the face faster than you could say selfish, and I'm pretty sure everyone else would be lined up with the same motive.
@MrsPinkPeony: I'm with you - if I tried to do this / claim this, without a question, my mom would want to slap me across the face and my entire extended family would recind all offers to throw a shower for me or assist with the wedding in any way, shape or form.
I hate attending showers. I think they are a gift-grabbing waste of time and also quite boring. I think people having an engagement party and a wedding is a sufficient amount of money you are expecting guests to fork out for you.
is it that inconceivable that cash would be preferred? Especially if the couple is already living together? And to the individual who quoted me, we can go into semantics if you like, but this thread is about gifts at showers. Let's just go ahead and assume we are taking about (hypothetically) a shower where people may be bringing gifts for the couple. Sheesh.
@ToasterCat: I totally agree with you! Etiquette is outdated. Don't let a dusty book by a dead woman rule your life!
@EleanorRigby: I think you're right...but it did prompt an interesting topic of conversation.
@crayfish: I don't really think of it as etiquette, I just think its rude.
@crayfish: Are you really a moderator here? Do you really think you are serving Bride's by encouraging them to be ill mannered, ungracious and greedy?
Why does everything need to be dictated by tradition? Some people don't feel this way. Imagine if showers had started off being an event where people brought a money gift (if they opted to) and not the other way around? Would we now be bashing people for saying they didn't know what to choose for their homes and wanted other people to pick it for them? You ladies can be so backwards sometimes. Sometimes it's OK to let go of society's programming.
Oh, and Miss Lisa, how the heck are you going to say that to someone? Speaking of rude! It is certainly not your place to judge.
@lisa105: Showers, by nature, are sort of greedy. Let's not forget that!
@ToasterCat: Again I don't care about the tradition of it, I just think its rude to tell people to give you money :/
@Mrs Grape: I agree! But I also think saying you want money makes it waaay worse.
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I am 61 and in my day, money showers known as "Greenback" showers were quite common and accepted for those couples who were combining households and did not really need appliances, linens and table wear. It is perfectly acceptable to hold a "Greenback" shower by placing an upsidedown umbrella at the event to collect cards, with or without money. The invitation can include a poem about combining households. Anyone offended should stop and think, this event if for the wedding couple and everyone should do their best to make the day wonderful for them, the center of attention and realize they have so much to do and do not need to have to go returning all kinds of goods they do not need to stores. After all they are providing two great parties for these guests, the shower and the wedding.