To try to go or not to go

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
687 posts
Busy bee

She should understand if you can’t make it. It’s not like you’re being flakey. I would let her know right away though. 


Post # 4
9859 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

First, I’m very sorry to hear about your grandmother.  

Second, your friend should understand.  Yes, in theory it’s only 5 days, but 5 days will probably be a week.  You’ve already been away from your life for quite some time.  I would tell your friend that you wish you could but unfortunately you cannot stay.

Post # 7
7055 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@jt556:  No I would not attend. The timing is all wrong, but it wasn’t your fault that your grandma passed away (and I am so sorry, my condolences). I know it’s only 5 days (probably more like 7 once you count travelling for the wedding), but it sounds like it messes too much with your life in your country of residence. Weddings are nice, but you’ve got to put your own livelihood first.

I would politely decline, apologise that the timing didn’t work, and send a nice card and generous gift.

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