- 7 years ago
Not so sure how to start this post, it will probably be long, and I’m not totally convinced of what I am going to say, but I have needed to vent to the hive for a while. Please help!
Well, my boyfriend and I are freshman in college and both 19 years old. We have been dating for 6 months but we’re extremely close and definitely in love. We are both mature and understanding, and we were never the “date around” types. His parents come from an economically deprived area, so they often scrap to make ends meet, and his parents are also not married although they have been together for 20 some odd years. My background is quite a bit different. My Dad has been married and divorced 3 times (mother not in the picture), we have moved around the country throughout my entire life, and we have alternated between fairly wealthy and average in income level. SO is from the city, I have mostly been raised in a rural autmosphere. That is our background.
It is fairly normal in my family to either marry young, or marry early on in a relationship. My Dad and sister have really been putting the fire to our A$$’s to get engaged since, coming from a traditional background, my SO and I have been sexually active together (I was a virgin until SO). I know we both want to spend our lives together, but we are very young and very early on in our relationship, and aware that we can’t get married until we are out of college in 4 years. After graduation we plan to move to Florida and pursue jobs there. We don’t want to get married until we are finacially stable and can live on our own, in our own location, and without the help of my Dad, as we currently live with him (although SO has a dorm, he just never stays there).
Both of our families love each other and love seeing SO and I together, so they would be happy to see an engagement in the future. Our finances are joined and So and I have decided on a ring. But I still feel like we may not be ready to take the plunge of engagement because we fight semi-frequently and are trying to work on that, we truly are young, we don’t have the money to get married now and support ourselves, and an engagement in the near future would mean we would wait 3, if not 4 years to wed.
I love my BF, he loves me, and we want to spend our lives together. So should we bite the bullet and get engaged by the summer, or piss my traditional family off by postpoing and engagement so we can work out the kinks in our life-plan and have a shorter engagement as a result of waiting?
THANKS SO MUCH!