Post # 1
My fiance is more sentimental than me. He is more thoughtful, more creative at gift giving, fills our house with photos of us in frames that say LOVE and HAPPINESS. Once i even came home to him cooking a fabulous 100% vegetarian dinner (even though he eats meat) with jazz music, wine, and a cheese plate waiting for me.
He is so good to me, and I love him and can’t wait to marry him, but sometimes I feel like I wear the pants in this relationship. And now i just found out that he wants us to write our own vows.
I originally protested, and he came back with the vicious truth. Before I went to nursing school, I studied english and creative writing. For as long as I remember, i wanted to be a writer. He said to me, “you used to write. you used to love it, how hard could it be for you really?”
So now i am stuck with this dilemma. I have until April 2012 to write them, and frankly i don’t feel like that is enough time to do it right! I am afraid that I will not be able to find the right way to express how i feel. I am also terrible at and terrified of public speaking.
does anyone have any adivce for writing and speaking to a crowd of 200 people what will probably me the most important speech of my life? Anything is welcome, I appreciate your help!
Post # 3
@CPD:Lots of drafts! There will be a lot of garbage and a few gems. Just share the gems. You can do it!
PS Congrats on finding such a great guy for you!
Post # 4
You can do it !! and ur FI seems super sweet 🙂 – probably worth it !! and it seems like your FI is trying to encourage your passion
Post # 5
Go for it! Follow your passion! Don’t let fear or nervousness get in the way of using your own words to profess your love to your new husband 🙂
Post # 6
Your fiance sounds amazing and I think it’s wonderful that he wants to have you bring out a part of yourself that you closed off. My advice is not to think about the two hundred people as you write and as you say your vows. As you write and when it’s time to say them, just focus on what you feel in your heart for your guy.
You’ve got a good amount of time to write and revise. I’d consider taking an afternoon on your own, think about the wonderful things your fiance does and how he makes you feel. Perhaps take out some photos of favorite memories you’ve created. Just let your mind wander and then write random thoughts that occur to you. Some may not be usable, but some just might give you a good start. Don’t focus on the technicality, try opening yourself up to the emotionality and worry about polishing them over time.
Post # 7
One of the other bees came up with a template for her vows. Here’s her example for her dog, Millie Sue:
I – Introduction: Sweet Millie Sue – Before I met you, I never saw myself having a dog, especially a lab with so much energy and a rebellious streak that includes stealing our glasses off the nightstands, chewing up toilet paper rolls and shredding the magazines strewn on coffee tables. But your energy was contagious, and before I knew it, I couldn’t see myself without one. I love our nightly walks exploring the neighborhood in the springtime; the way you get so excited for a treat you attempt to do all your tricks at the same time; and even when you snore so loudly I have to turn music on just to fall asleep (which is actually very sweet, by the way).
II – The “I Love You Because” Part: I love you because you’re so accepting of everyone, no matter their flaws. You’re the first to make a new friend, the first to apologize when we’re angry, and first to comfort me when I’m hysterically upset about a character I know only through a book or a movie. I love you because you’re dependable and honest, and I wholly believe you when you show your love to me.
III – The “Because I Love You” Part: And because I love you, I promise to care for you the same way you’ve watched out for me since Mr. Jam’s been away. I promise to always have a steady supply of snuggles and treats, and to not laugh too hard when the toy you’re playing with gets caught in your collar. And most of all, I promise to do all I can to always make you the happiest dog in the world, even when I come home to find the bathroom full of shredded toilet paper and cotton balls.
IV – Grand Finale: Millie, you are the best dog we could have ever asked for, and I’m endlessly proud that you’re ours. You’ve always fit in perfectly with everyone you meet, and I treasure the memories we’ve made together. More than anything, I can’t wait to see what kinds of wonderful adventures we have to look forward to. I love you forever!
Post # 8
Carry a note pad and pen around with you for a month and every time something happens which makes you think why you love him, or are glad he is in your life, write it down. Use it for inspiration. 🙂