Too much freedom may be holding us back.

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
716 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Jlee28:  Gah, I wish! But I can totally understand. You have TOO many choices. I can’t imagine someone being like “pick anywhere in the US to live.” When I was 9 months old, my mother decided to leave California but didn’t know where she wanted to go. She took out a map and flipped a dime over it and it landed in Washington. Voila! Here we are. Haha. Maybe look into this oh so scientific method? 😉

Post # 5
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@Moonlight_Densetsu Maybe you didn’t read the guidelines when you signed up but you should now….

“We don’t allow posts that are intended to be rude, sarcastic, insulting, berating, argumentative, condescending, personally attacking, or that otherwise harass users of the Weddingbee site.  Please do not post threads or comments for the sole purpose of criticizing, mocking, or otherwise disparaging others’ wedding, waiting, or nesting choices.  Weddingbee is a diverse community with members across the globe.  No single culture is better than any other, and we value every member’s perspective.  We reserve the right to remove such posts as necessary.”

@Jlee28: You are very lucky to have so many options available to you! I guess one of the major factors of where I would choose to live was the weather. Do you & DH like season changes? snow? heat? humidity lol? I think that would at least narrow your options down a little bit!

Post # 6
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee

@Moonlight_Densetsu:  That’s not really fair, she isn’t complaining, in fact she sounds appreciative. She’s just looking for someone with a similar situation who can relate.

 

@Jlee28:   I can’t relate right now as I’m not looking to buy a home yet, but my with my job it is also easy to live just about anywhere. Do you have it narrowed down at least to an AREA? Maybe based on climate?

 

Post # 7
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Gah, I wish I had your problem.. but yes, it is quite a well known fact that too many choices is stressful.

I used to sell furniture while I was in university, and I’d always only show customers a few sofa sets so they wouldn’t get overwhelmed. They’d usually end up buying vs. the people who didn’t want to talk to me and decided to wander the store themselves and try everything out.

Have you narrowed it down at all? Like by priorities? For me I know exactly where I’d like to move because we’ve visited there and love it there. It just feels like home. Our top priority is the weather lol. We currently live in cold and snowy Canada. Have you actually visited the places you’re considering? Sometimes determining pros/cons on paper isn’t the best way to do it. Sounds like you’re overthinking this. Pick a state first (obviously), and then narrow it down by “must have, would like to have, must not have” (or or whatever schema you determine) and go from there. If you can’t decide, go with a more emotional decision than how the pros/cons add up. Like go with your gut. And keep in mind that no move is 100% permanent.

Post # 8
coyoteBee
2051 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

YES! I am in your exact situation! DH works from home, I have a job here in NY that I’m not in love with so we literally looked at a map and said — where shall we go?! 😀 Right now we’re looking at the Carolinas. We figure if it doesn’t work out, we will just pack it up and try another state. 😉 Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Oh dear, we are having  a hell of a time picking from about 50 suburbs, I can’t imagine what it would be like to have the entire nation to choose from! Can you narrow it down by choosing to be close to establisted family or friends? Gah! I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes right now.

Post # 10
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Jlee28:  my FI can work anywhere as well, he doesn’t have any “career” yet (he’s working retail right now). neither do i (i’m unemployed, and have been in school for the past few years). so we can also say “where do we wanna live?” however, we don’t have any savings, and we both have such horrible credit that we can’t just up and move anywhere. we’re going to be living with my parents until our credit gets fixed. then, once it’s all sorted out, we’ll do the “hmmmm… where do we wanna settle down?”

i second what ValerieBee03 & Bazinga are saying. i’d narrow it down to a general area. do you want somewhere with mild weather year round? do you want all four seasons? do you want beach? do you want mountains? if you narrow it down to a specific area, it’s easier to then narrow it down further. 

cost of living is also something to look into. even though it sounds like your hubby has a pretty cushy job and you can afford a lot, but it’s something to think about. my FI and i were looking at houses both at home (massachusetts), in texas (where he lived for a couple years after high school), and in washington (home for him), and the difference between housing in each of those places is crazy. texas is SO much less than massachusetts, and washington is somewhere in the middle of the two. so take that into consideration too (: you may be able to get “more for your money” if you choose somewhere that the cost of living is less. know what i mean?

Post # 11
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Jlee28:  I totally get that! It’s like brides with unlimited budgets. Easier, right? Nope! Your brain hates having too many choices. It’s overwhelming!

Post # 12
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I totally get it. DH is in the Army and we are currently going through our every-few-years process of deciding which posts to put in for a transfer to. This last move was easy, as my family is all here in WA so we picked Ft. Lewis. Next move? Not so easy. We have to list out our top three choices out of ANY AND ALL ARMY FACILITY IN THE COUNTRY. DH is medical so we don’t even have to choose major bases — we could put in for little VA clinics anywhere too. It is such a process to try and narrow it down!!!!

Post # 13
Member
4296 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I second this!

 

@Moonlight_Densetsu:   Maybe you didn’t read the guidelines when you signed up but you should now….

“We don’t allow posts that are intended to be rude, sarcastic, insulting, berating, argumentative, condescending, personally attacking, or that otherwise harass users of the Weddingbee site.  Please do not post threads or comments for the sole purpose of criticizing, mocking, or otherwise disparaging others’ wedding, waiting, or nesting choices.  Weddingbee is a diverse community with members across the globe.  No single culture is better than any other, and we value every member’s perspective.  We reserve the right to remove such posts as necessary.”

 

 

Post # 15
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee

@iarebridezilla:  +1.

FI is senior foreign services, so we’re deciding between…anywhere in the world and I’m having some anxiety about it. While he certainly can support the household, I’m really career oriented so my thing is, wherever we go, it has to be somewhere I can advance too so I’m just doing a ton of research. I’d say continue to do what you’re doing and look into what’s most important for you and give yourself a deadline. We’re working on a timeline, but even before that I’ll spin a damn globe to keep myself from having a panic attack lol (I’ll just spin it 10 times haha).

Post # 16
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I second the idea of narrowing it down by family and climate. What are you most comfortable with climate wise? If the idea of rain 6 months of the year makes you shudder than you can narrow down several states. Heat make you crazy? Then you can narrow it down that way as well.

Edit: if family makes you crazy (lol) pick a different part of the country ect.

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