Post # 1
The best man is my FH 13yr old son. There is no way he is ever going to get up in front of 100+ people and do a toast. FMIL want to “speak for him” and give a toast. I do not like this idea. Neither my MOH (sister) nor my dad wants to give a toast; they are not big on public speaking which is fine! We decided months ago that we would not have a toast because of these reasons. I do not think FMIL should give a toast if my dad doesn’t, it might confuse the guests as to why the MOG is speaking but not the FOB. I also think it would be rude to my dad who is paying and hosting the wedding. She says that ONLY the best man is suppose to give a toast (which is wrong), and since he isn’t going to do it then she will, but SHE ISN”T THE BEST MAN! She also says that if we do a toast we will only be giving champagne to immediate family and the bridal party and the guests can drink whatever, which I think is rude. We are not having a rehearsal dinner so having her toast there is not an option. She has been pretty uninterested in the wedding plans until about 2 weeks ago, and the wedding is in 10 days. She all of a sudden wants to help when there is nothing left to do and is now upset because we are “not letting her do anything for the wedding.” FH thinks we should just let her do what she wants because that’s what he does with her, and I normally do to just to keep the peace, but I don’t think I should back down on this one. What do you bees think? Am I in the wrong here?
PS FOG is not in the picture.
Post # 3
@FMJKL: I agree with you. I do have an alternative option: Have the 13 year old do it with MOG. It is time for the best man to be a young man and the toast is part of it, but mom can give a little support, too. This way he isn’t talking by himself and she isn’t talking by herself. Tell him he can stand with everyone, he doesn’t have to stand alone in front of the crowd. It can be three sentences. Seriously, over in 10 seconds. Last, make sure whoever is in charge of the mic does NOT hand it to MOG at any time.
Post # 4
well I think SOMEONE should give a toast. Something should be said about the bride and groom, the occassion and why everyone is there. I think the toast(s) is what ties the reception to the ceremony. It’s a moment when everyone’s focus is on the bride and groom at the same time. A centering point of the reception.
So if no one else wants to say anything, I kind of think it’s nice that MOG has offered to say something.
Post # 5
I think the grrom should toast, and thank FOB, FMIL, and the best man.
So she gets her limelight, and you don’t have to deal with her toasting!
Post # 6
@FMJKL: well i could see where you would want to push her away, my suggestion is talk to the Bm again and see if someone could help him through it or even help him write it it could be over so quick or if no one else is willing to toast , the heck with it whats the worst she could say right???
Post # 7
We really would prefer there not be any toast. It’s not a formal wedding. You all have great suggestions, and the groom will most likely say a few words. My step son really isn’t that type of kid and I do not want to make him feel uncomfortable in any way. He is already nervous about standing up there during the ceremony!
Post # 8
Okay, so I talked to my Dad and he is now going to do a toast, so now MOG can do a toast. Problem solved I guess.
I told her this weekend that we are going to let her do a toast. I expected her to say ” Oh thank you! It is something I really want to do!” Her actual response “What are you talking about? I’m doing one no matter what, you can’t stop me”