Post # 1
FI and I are starting to plan out the details and one of the things that he brought up lately was who was going to do toasts. I have 2 people on my side of the wedding party and he has 5. I’m ok with the unevenness so that is not an issue at all. However, almost all of the people on his side are SO excited to do toasts for him and neither of mine want to do toasts for me. FI isn’t sure if it’s appropriate to have 4 people saying toasts for him, but no one recognizing me. I’m not gonna lie – I’m a little jealous that his friends and family seem to be more into all of this. That being said, I think it would be wrong to either ask my bridesmaids to toast if they don’t want to or tell some of his side that they can’t toast him even though they’re really excited for it.
What do you think?
Post # 2
- Wedding: Davis Island Garden Club
5 groomsman giving toasts is way too many in my opinion. They will go on too long, look odd, and im sure it will turn into a roast of ur FI.
If the groomsman are that excited, welcome the toasts at your rehearsal dinner. Traditionally the only bridal party toasts are from the BM and MOH.
Post # 3
As a guest, I think 7 toasts is waaaaaay too many. Stick with just people who want to make toasts, and have them toast both of you. And drop everyone else. try to keep the toasting list as short as possible. Or if you want 2 people to toast you and two for your groom, see if there’s someone outside of the bridal party who would be excited to do it. The only thing worse than a boring, uninterested, un-excited speech-giver is a whole parade of them, and if you have 7 speeches then no matter how great the speakers are, the guests get bored.
Post # 4
Just to clarify – there definitely won’t be 7 toasts! My 2 defitenly don’t want to do it. 1 on his side definitely don’t want to do it. So that’s 4 toasts. Still a lot but more managable than 7. I feel bad ranking them at all. He didn’t choose a best man (and I didn’t choose an MOH) because of that. They are all equally important. I guess the main issue is that they clearly want to toast just him and I’m not sure if that is going to be weird if there is no one to toast me.
I see the problem of it becoming a roast of him – that’s what we’re hoping to avoid, but without doing away with toasts (which might be our only option to treat this fairly) what other choices do we have?
Post # 5
- Wedding: Davis Island Garden Club
How about having your parents do toasts? Or a close family member outside of the bridal party. Or just skip the toasts, none of your guests will miss it. Or you and your hubby can do a toast to eachother, your bridal party, your family and friends, etc.
Post # 6
I suggest you find one person who wants to do the toast to the groom and one the toast to the bride. Those people do not have to be in the wedding party. I have been to many weddings where the toast to the bride was done by a long time friend of the family.
You, as a a couple, can then respond with a toast to the wedding party and your parents.
Post # 7
missadventure85: Yeah generally at a wedding you toast THE COUPLE not an individual person in the couple.
Post # 8
missadventure85: You definitely do not want 4 toasts from the groomsman all giving toasts! I don’t know what the norm in the States is, if that is where you are from, but typically it’s the father of the bride, maybe the father of the groom, the best man, maybe the MOH and the groom toasting. Sometimes a bride will want to speak too. I love speeches at weddings but if you have heaps then guests are likely to get rather bored. My sister had 2 bridesmaids, a best man, both her and husband plus our father speak and it went for over 45 minutes and people were over it by the end.