Post # 1
by a ten-year-old.
Literally. I am a live-in nanny right now for a family that has three children who are 11, 9, and 7. The oldest has Autism and some pretty severe behavorial problems sometimes. Though he is only 11, he is already 5’3 and 140 pounds. He’s a big kid. Well today he beat the crap out of me. I’ve been slapped and scratched before. I’ve had my hair pulled, and I’ve gotten a fist or two to the face, but nothing that was that bad. Today he got me on the ground and slapped, kicked, and pulled my hair until I was finally able to push him away from me. I now have a black eye, a bruised cheek-bone. Several body bruises on my chest and ribs and back where was kicking me, and some bleeding on my scalp from where he pulled my hair out. The worst part is there was no see-able trigger for this behavior, which is just showing that his recent trend of aggression is getting worse. My boss came home from work and started crying when she saw me. She had a feeling that she was going to have to put him in a residential home soon, but I think she was hoping that it wouldn’t be this soon. Once she saw me and the damage he did to someone my size, I’m sure she realized just how dangerous it would be if he decided to turn on his 7 year old sister. She said she is calling for an evaluation for him tomorrow, which is needed for him to to be refferred to residential homes. I feel so awful for her and can’t imagine what she is going through. I know that I love him so incredibly much, but I fear what happened to me today will happen to one of his younger siblings who will not be able to fight him off like I did and will have serious injury. I also hate to admit that today helped me feel better about my decision to leave in August. I’m just still in shock about this. I hate that I was the one consoling my boss when I am the one sporting these:
Oh what a peach of a day. Any one else working in this field have any stories like this?
Post # 3
Yeowch! I’m so sorry to hear! Hope you’re feeling better soon.
Post # 4
OMG!! I bet you are feeling so many emotions and the pain itself is probably unbearable. I am a Speech-Language Pathologist working with several children on the Autism Spectrum in an Elementary school (grades K-5). I’ve never encountered physical agression like you’ve encountered, but I have had my hair pulled, been bitten, hit, had tables tossed over towards me, and have had my breasts squeezed many times in the past.
One of the questions that I was originally going to ask was what you thought the function of the behavior was, but you had already said that it didn’t seem like there was a trigger. How does the child communicate his basic wants/needs/feelings? Lastly, have you ever been trained in NCI?
BIG HUGS (but, soft ones)!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. You might want to consider removing the pics with your face on here. I would hate for his parents to come across them “somehow” and use them against you after you’ve cared for him for so long.
Post # 5
Oh my! I really hope that your boss is able to get his into a residential home soon. I understand that the child has a disability, but if he’s being aggressive towards you (and potentially his younger siblings), alternative arrangements really need to be made ASAP.
Post # 6
OMG! I hope you’ve gone to the hospital already. Your foot looks serious. I know it’s hard to see this happen to the family but your health and safety is first and foremost.
Post # 7
@melisslp: I’ve been trained in ABA and as far as holds, I was taught a special one that I don’t think falls under the norms. He does tell you basic needs, but nothing emotionally. He was smiling and laughing one second and then all of a sudden he turned to me and started wailing on me. My brother has Asperger’s and I have been around other children with Autism my entire life and I have never, ever experienced anything like this. I feel bad because I like flinch when he trieds to hug me and I know that I’ve been kind of standoffish. The sad thing is he doesn’t even realize what he did.
Post # 8
There is something called a trigger warning that blogs use to warn readers about unsettling content rather than surprise them with something awful and painful or that could cause a reaction. You could maybe try putting a few line breaks in and a warning at the top so people who thought this would be only a story know not to scroll any farther and can avoid the pics. Or maybe put “pictures in post” in your subject line? No offense, but I was not prepared for that and I would not have opened this post at all had I known.
But since I’m here, that sucks. Hope your healing is easy and that this little boy gets the help he needs.
Post # 9
I have had kids kick, pull hair, slap, grab a boob, spit, puke, cuss, scream, chase me with a bat, and other stuff that is terrible, but nothing this bad. It sounds like the mom is making the right decision and thankfully it was you and not one of the siblings or a complete stranger. I hope you heal quickly and there aren’t any more situations before you or him leave. Kids in homes can live very happy lives, I know it is hard on the parents, and the rest of the family, but it can be a happy life where there are more people “like him” and professionals that can make his life pleasant while safe for him and others.
Post # 10
Oh that’s awful. Poor you 🙁 What a crappy day beyond belief. You are fantastic for working so hard with kids who need you though and putting yourself at risk for stuff like this every day. ((hugs))
Post # 11
@SoonToBeeMrsD: I’m guessing you had no time to get him into one of the holds that you were taught. Sometimes things happen so quickly, that you have no time to react. If you’re going to continue working with this child through August, I would DEMAND that you’re taught NCI (Nonviolent Crisis Intervention Training) immediately! You have to be able to protect yourself and the other kiddos in the household. I am hopeful that you heal quickly and his parents make a decision to find him more intensive treatment. Best Wishes!!
Post # 12
I am SO sorry! Are you going to be able to take
some time off? It looks like you could use some for healing time.
My mother used to work in a foster home for adults with mental retardation and severe autism. She eventually had to quit due to repeated injury from one of the adults she took care of. 🙁
If she puts him in a home will you still leave?
Post # 13
@dcdt212: I agree…her foot looks serious.
Post # 14
I’ve worked in this field for years, and have had my fair share of bruises, scratches, bites, hair pulls, slaps, punches, etc. It used to get pretty bad come summer time and I tried to wear shorts/tanktops while out with DH— he used to get some pretty nasty looks from people (as they obviously thought he was causing the bruising up and down my arms and legs).
Putting a kid in residential can be pretty emotionally draining on the parents, and on all of the people that care about the kid. A family that I know pretty well just went through this, after they tried literally EVERYTHING to be able to keep the boy at home- they even bolted a big wooden desk into their dining room floor to try to maintain him there when he was having a tantrum. I think in the end its very important to remember that putting him in a residential home will ultimately benefit the child, and that they would still be able to visit him and even bring him home for weekend visits. Does he currently go to a school that specializes in autism?
Post # 15
@melisslp: There was absolutely no time to get him into a hold. I am holed up in my room, but the husband has already taken the rest of the week off and I am allowed to go home with pay. I had one of my friends in residency come and check me out. She said it looked like just bruising, he stomped on my foot with a shoe, and since it’s just bruising and no swelling and no serious pain when walking she thinks it’s just a deep bruise as well, and unfortunately since I’m anemic, my bruising is going to be really bad and worse looking than most people. I told her that we should think about hiring a second nanny during the summer. That way I can focus on him and ther other can take care of the other two and when situtations like this arise, I am not at home alone with all three children.
@Tunacupcakes: I’m leaving in August no matter what. I am living in Chicago right now and my FI is in Iowa. I plan on moving back since we are getting married in March. If he goes into a treatment home soon, then I will be let go since he is the main reason they have a nanny full-time. I don’t want to stick around for part-time work, and she understands thank goodness.
@kimmylyn: He does. He actually goes to a school that not only specializes in Autism, but also in behavioral disorders, so they have him covered. He has been getting increasingly more violent there too. He bit a teacher so hard last week that he drew blood. The school is also starting to suggest residential since they have tried some of the most intensive therapy out there.
Post # 16
oh man!! OUCH!! your foot looks really bad… how did it get like that? (sorry… just saw that you said he stomped on your foot)
I hope everything works out 🙁