Today is our anniversary… (vent)

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

That sucks.  If he can’t afford to take you out, the least he can do is spend your actual anniversary with you.

Post # 4
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

*hugs*

 

Does he understand how important it is to you to spend the actual day of your anniversary together? Or does he see is has having some give either side of the week? Did you sit down and plan the day together and THEN he threw it out the window? Or was it sort of up in the air and constantly changing? 

Post # 5
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I dunno. I paid for our anniversary dinner lol. I don’t think I even got a card this year. Men can be kind of obtuse.

Post # 7
Member
310 posts
Helper bee

*hugs* I’m sorry he’s being an oblivious jerk. My FI (mostly jokingly) kept trying to invite his best friend along on our anniversary dinner and I basically just yelled at him so he got the point that 1) it wasn’t happening and 2) that I didn’t think it was funny. Sometimes you just need to be blunt with them so they know how you actually feel. I would probably wake his butt up and tell him how low on his priority list I felt, but that’s just me and I know how my FI would react to that. I wouldn’t let this skate by though, and at some point you should tell him how this whole situation made you feel. Good luck.

Post # 9
Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you are telling him that it’s ok to spend time with his friends, change plans around, etc, I think you are just as responsible for what is happening as he is. He isn’t a mind reader. If you tell him it is ok to do all these things and aren’t open with him about how it makes you feel, that’s on you. If you simply said “It’s really important that we spend this day together, and that it is special”, I bet he would have come through in the way you wanted him to.

Post # 11
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@ForeverBirds:  I’m so sorry that your SO has let you down. How old are you guys?nthe first Valentiand that FI and I spent together (which was 6 years ago) he failed miserably! he got me a card, but that was it. din freer, no flowers, nothing special. I don’t need a fancy, expensive dinner, but we literally ended up eating fast food. After that experience, I learned that I just had to help him. I told him I would love flowers and a thoughtful, special day/night out on Valentines and our anniversary. Now he knows exactly what I want. You have to be extremely clear. 

I ask how old you guys are because it sounds like he is putting his friends first. This is common for younger guys. Especially if none of his friends are in relationships or on the path to marriage. 

Just tell him how you feel!

Post # 13
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@ForeverBirds:  I understand better now. I’m sorry that he’s being such a poo-head. 

Perhaps he’s feeling a bit drained at the moment and really needs time with his buddies to recharge for you to spend quality time with you rather than just time. But he’s not good at communicating this without it sounding like he’s sick of you and hurting you even more. 

Post # 14
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@ForeverBirds:  I am so sorry this happened. What a douche canoe. Sorry, but you need to be his first priority. He shouldn’t put anything or anyone over you, let alone on your anniversary. I refuse to come second with my FI.

Post # 15
Member
968 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Teenagers? Urgh, no wonder he acts immaturely…he is immature.

 

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