Toddlers at evening weddings: Yea or Nay?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I think it’s up to your MOH and her husband, that things will turn out fine either way, and that you should do yourself a favor and forget about it. One less thing for you to stress over.

Post # 4
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I do not have a toddler, but I do have 3 siblings aged 10-13, and my SO also has two children under 13…..and I do not think it will be appropriate for them to be at our evening reception.

It’s in a backyard, by a pool, at night and there will be drinking. They would be, really, the only kids there. I love them and really want them involved, but I cannot stomach them being around the level of drinking I know will take place towards the end of the evening by certain male participants.

Luckily, I have a feeling my family may leave a bit early into the reception with my siblings and we may have SO’s children do the same.

Post # 5
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

We had toddlers at our wedding (5pm ceremony).  Both were my nieces and their mothers were my bridesmaids.  They were at the entire shindig because it’s a family function (and all the potential babysitters were at the wedding anyway).  We had other children that were there that were not toddlers (but under 10) and they had a blast.  In fact, one of those toddler nieces really stole the show and became enchanted with our videographer’s camera and he was in love with her.  If she had not been there, we would have lost out on some precious moments (she became suspicious of what my husband was doing under my dress to get my garter off and she had to investigate).  I wouldn’t worry about it.

Post # 6
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have a toddler and sorry no way.  Toddlers tend to go to bed early.  My son’s bed time is 8pm and anything beyond that if more than an hour he gets tired and very whiney.

 

Post # 8
Member
3948 posts
Honey bee

Why did you invite them with their child if you hope the kid doesn’t go? It’s the parents responsibility so stop stressing over it.

Post # 9
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I agree with you. I never understand why parents want to bring their young kids to an evening wedding. Essentially there is nothing for a toddler to do at wedding. Usually the food, music and general atmosphere (having to sit through dinner & dessert quietly) are just not toddler friendly. Im giving a few of my guests (who are close family and their kids are 1st cousins to Fi or me) the option to bring their little ones BUT I highly doubt they are going to. It isnt fair to the kid. 

Post # 10
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@leenh78:  many years ago when i was 5 years old i was the flower girl in my uncle’s wedding who lived 5 hours away. my mom left my brother at my grandmother’s house with a babysitter since he was 2 and she didn’t think it was approporate to bring him to the evening wedding.

he doesn’t remember nor care that he wasn’t there.

 

Post # 12
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@leenh78:  It’s up to her but I personally wouldn’t want to be chasing after a toddler all night.  I would much rather be drinking, dancing and partying!  I would be nonconfrontational about it and say it would be disappointing if she had to leave early that night because the one year old was cranky or ready for bed.  I don’t think it’s fair of a parent to expect a child under 6 to behave for a 4+ hour event; it’s too much and too exhausting for them.

Post # 13
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

We were just at a family reunion, where there were 7 kids age 1.5-10.  They are all great kids, and they had other kids to play with, so it was pretty much an ideal environment.  The event started at 2.  By 9pm, at least half were in full-on meltdown mode.  By 10pm, anyone who had kids was gone. 

That said, I’m inviting them all to my wedding, mostly because I don’t want their parents (all out of town guests) to feel unwelcome.  If we have budget left over at the end, I might hire a babysitter and have a “kids’ room” with movies and blankets for the kids who are bored or the parents who want some space.

Post # 14
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ehhh.  I don’t think it’s a huge deal.  My neice and nephew had a WONDERFUL time at my wedding.  But they were a little over 2.   They stayed the entire night (until 11:30) with no melt downs.

Post # 16
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

All of the kids at our wedding were well-behaved.  Their parents had fun without drinking (even though we had an open bar).  I just think if the kids are invited, it’s the parents’ responsibility on what to do with their kids.  If they choose to bring them, then so be it.  It’s not like you are going to revoke the invitation if they want to bring the kids.  One of my nieces was passed out in her stroller about an hour after dinner.  The other toddler danced all night, as well as the other kids.  None of them were in the adults’ way.  We had a photobooth for our guests and the kids enjoyed that as well.  Perhaps set aside an area of the reception for kids (like coloring books and some toys, puzzle books or something).  

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