(Closed) Tolerating his immature ex.

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
3 posts

Don’t stoop to her level. You’re better than that! Worry about you and your relationship with him because that is all that matters. If it gets to the point where you cannot take it anymore, have a serious conversation with him about it and see where he stands.

Hope this helps! Best of luck 🙂

Post # 4
522 posts
Busy bee

@ninelives:  I think you and your SO just have to continue to present a united front. She can’t wriggle her way in if there is no chinks in the armor, so to speak.

It sounds like he’s already doing an amazing job of not encouraging her so unfortunately there’s not much that you can tactfully do.

If he’s not already aware I’d bring up the snide remarks she said and express that they made you uncomfortable and perhaps reach an agreement together. Maybe that he’ll walk away from her or that you can have some sort of signals that you can use when she is making you uncomfortable etc

Post # 5
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@FEDORAble:  Exactly – act like it doesn’t get to you and it will stop being fun for her.

Fiance has a couple of immature former people that we’ve had to deal with.  The last time we ran into the nastiest of the bunch (she’d poke him and be all fake friendly with me sitting right there ugh) he basically acted like he could give a you know what if she spoke to him, she tried hi fiving him on our way out and he passed her by without blinking an eye.  She was at the same place a couple months ago a few chairs down and not once did she bother us.


Post # 6
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@ninelives:  I congratulate you on handling this as well a you are and think you and your Fiance are doing all the right things.

The only thing I might change is that…you don’t have to accept her rudeness.  I mean, if she’s just doing silly stuff like glaring at you from across the room, just ignore her.  But if she’s openly hostile when she’s talking to you?  Excuse yourself and walk away. 

I wouldn’t confront her or engage her on her level, but you also don’t have to be a doormat in the name of group harmony, you know?

Post # 7
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Best way to handle people like her is to be sickly sweet.  It will drive her absolutely CRAZY that she can’t get under your skin.  When you see her, put on your best imitation pagent girl smile, wave at her and say “Oh, HI sweetie!  How have you BEEN?”  Push the conversation in the direction you want it to go – don’t let her steer it.  What she’s doing is absolutely an intimidation tactic.  She’s young, she doesn’t know how to make cutting remarks in a way that sounds almost like a compliment.  Shove it right back in her face, but in such a sweet, polite way that she can’t do anything. 

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