Too long of an engagement?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
8073 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I mean I think you could pull off the Fall if you wanted to get on baby making. But if you want to wait till June 15 (which will creep up faster than you think) you do not have to rule out a date because it’s someones birthday or anniversary. There’d be no dates left if those were the rules! 

Post # 4
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

we’ve had a 16 month engagment , it honestly hasn’t felt long at all!

Post # 5
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I plan on having 2 years! 15 months I think is the national average 

Post # 6
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We had a 15 month engagement and while I feel 12 months would have been perfect, 15 really didn’t seem that bad. We’re in the not super young boat too (he’s 43 I’m 30) so we’re going to start TTC at the end of this year, a little over a year after our wedding. But you can always start on the honeymoon! 😉

Post # 7
Member
841 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Kacie209:  Once you’re in the middle of wedding planning, it will fly by. Our engagement will have been 13 months by the time we get married, and I’m STILL stressed out about some of the stuff I still have to do. We’re half way there, and it feels like I just got engaged yesterday. 

I promise, it won’t feel that long, and you will be glad you had the extra time to plan. You’ll get your first choice on venues, photographers, DJs, flowers, etc. and you will be able to spread everything out a little more. It’s a lot less stressful!

Post # 8
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Kacie209:  

You are being very considerate and thoughtful!

No, none of those things played into the date we selected. The only things that really mattered were when people were traveling or available to travel and major holidays. Birthdays, anniversaries and more did not factor into our decision. If you have to plan it that way, you may end up getting married on a Tuesday in January at 9AM.

My advice is to pick the date you want. People are going to be sooooooooo happy for you and should a birthday or anniversary fall on the date you choose, you simply give a nod to them at your reception by the DJ if you like. It’s fine. Good luck!

ETA: My engagment will have bene 19 months. At first I thought it was so long but it really have flown by. Ack! So much to do!

Post # 9
Member
2895 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I wouldn’t let birthdays and aniversaries dictate your wedding date.  Espeically not birthdays.  If I avoided everyone’s birthday on our guest list, we would never have gotten married.  I would ask the person who’s birthday it was about what problems they have with their birthday.  A friend got married on my birthday, and if they would have asked, I would have told them what a horrible date it is (my birthday is between Christmas and New Years, and always disappointing because everyone has plans and can’t celebrate!) 

I might avoid a close friends aniversary, but I know a lot of people who have gotten married on their parents or grandparents aniversary and thought it was very special.  It really depends on what kind of friends you have.

That said, 9-8 months is totally do able.  We had a bit more time (11 months) and it looks like we will have no trouble pulling off a 350 guest wedding.  If you really want it, just get things booked.  After you have everything booked, the rest is fairly easy as long as you can be laid back about letting things that people don’t care about (favors, welcome bags) slide when you don’t have time to do them. 

Post # 10
Member
6279 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Kacie209:  i got engaged the end of february last year and married 7 1/2 months later in october.

i was busy doing wedding stuff the first 2 months when i booked all my vendors.  and the last 2 months were sort busy but nothing crazy.  the summer months were actually really boring. 

i’m a cyclist and thought i would have no time for bike rides, i ended up riding the most amount of miles during the summer than i ever had, more miles than when i was training for a half ironman.

it is definately doable, you just need to stay organized.

if you want a fall wedding, you should go for it.

 

Post # 11
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Kacie209:  I had an 18 month engagement and I don’t think I would recommend something that long to anyone unless it was financially necessary. The initial planning surge, so much waiting, lots of time to change your mind, so long to store things bought in advance…. did not love that! But it did give us infinite choice of vendors and venues.

Post # 12
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Kacie209:  I am having something ridiculous like a 28 month engagement. I don’t think just over a year is a long engagement at all. There are plenty of perks to having a longer engagement (first pick on vendors, locking in current pricing, etc.), but ultimately, you have to pick the date that works best for you and your fiance. I don’t know that birthdays or anniversaries should have such a strong influence over your wedding date. I think people generally plan around big events, like retirement ceremonies, graduations, other weddings, etc. Good luck 🙂

Post # 14
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - A Beautiful converted Barn

@Kacie209:  we had a 2 yr engagement and it flew by! next june will be here before you know it!! and you can start TTC on honeymoon!

the only thing that influenced our date was the fishing season in bahamas, half of DHs family are out there and the guys all work on the boats so we had to make sure they at least had an option to come! other than that though we didnt really take into consideration anyones birthdays/anniversaries/holidays etc… we got married 3 days after my sisters birthday and 4 days before my friends birthday. i think it would be almost impossible to pick a date if you tried not to clash with anything! LOL!

Post # 15
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Well if you go with June 6th, I think you’ll have almost exactly the same engagement length as me! 🙂 FI proposed March 7th, and I can hardly believe we’ve been engaged for almost a year. The time really does fly by! For us, I think an engagement close to 16 months was perfect. You’re still able to plan right away (though we didn’t secure our reception venue until June), but it doesn’t feel like too much of a rush. And there’ll be days when you wish you were just married already, but really, you’re only getting married once, so take the time you need to make sure everything is as wonderful as possible 🙂

 

Post # 16
Member
4031 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We had a 13 month engagement and it flew by! It did help with how busy we both were, and it sounds like it would be that way for you. I definitely think 8-9 months is plenty of time, especially if you want to TTC sooner. However, that length of engagement is just fine and if it will save you stress, then maybe it is best for you!

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