Post # 1
I have a HUGE dilemma.
My fiancee and I both do not want a huge wedding party. Ideally 4 BM’s– 5 max. I have 4 very close GF’s who I spent my 20’s with. We are very much like sex & the city and I absolutely want them with me. I also have 3 sisters (2 married 1 single) and a friend I’ve known since age 5 who I was Maid/Matron of Honor at her wedding. Honestly, I want my youngest, unmarried sister in it with my 4GF’s. I’ve decided to have my other sisters say a speech or do a reading to be incorporated, but I’m left with my childhood friend who is gonna be so mad if she’s not a Bridesmaid or Best Man since I was her Maid/Matron of Honor. I just think that maids should be single and young and funnish and we have lost touch since she became married anyway.
Any ideas on how I can include her that is still VERY significant and almost like a Maid/Matron of Honor but not really?
The wedding has been a complete breeze except for this very stressful decision! Ugh..
Post # 3
@melika: Honestly, your childhood friend should NOT be mad about you not having her in your wedding just because you were her Maid/Matron of Honor. That was HER choice, and this is yours. Unfortunately I know that’s not always how it works…
Are you Catholic?
Or maybe she could also do some sort of reading? Maybe a poem?
Post # 4
Have her do a reading. One of my BFs is in her 40s, married, with 4 kids and did not feel comfortable in the bridesmaid role. She will be doing a reading in the ceremony instead. I had a talk with her and told her I still wanted her involved in everything and she agrees. Don’t feel guilted into making her a Bridesmaid or Best Man in your party just because you were her Maid/Matron of Honor. Like it was said that was her choice. Good luck!
Post # 5
You could always have a Matron of honor, but that just adds to the bridal party. You could have her as a bridesmaid and your little sister as the flower girl 🙂 She could be your day of coordinator, which I feel may be even more important than a Bridesmaid or Best Man. You could have her give a speech at your reception. You could have her hand out programs or be a female usher. I’m sure if you are just straight up that she is important to you, she will be happy to just be helpful in anyway you can. If she is big on crafts you could ask her to be the “craft leader” or “craft guide” to any DIY projects you hope to tackle.
Post # 6
If you DO want her in her wedding… I agree with the above poster who suggested having her as a Matron of Honor possibly… The Matron is almost always married. I don’t know how a poem or reading would really “incorporate” anyone into a wedding in a special way. To me it is no different than hiring a singer, etc… I could be wrong.. If you don’t want her in your wedding then that is your choice. SOme people are really sensitive about this kind of thing so you have to weight the pros and cons of both
Post # 7
I actually have 10 BM! haha. Same situation.. i was stressin for literally a year on this and finally made up my mind and have felt so much better. I tried to picture what it would be like with out them being BMs.. and how our relationship would change?.. what it would be like seeing them in the crowd instead of my BMs and blah blah.. just realized there is no rule.. do what you want on your wedding.. be happy! hope this helped..