Post # 1
Hi! So this is my first time posting on here since getting engaged this July, but I have a bit of a bridesmaid dilemma and wanted to get some advice from you all.
My situation is this: After getting engaged, I was so excited that I jumped the gun and invited (gasp!) 8 bridesmaids (well, two BM’s and two MOH’s) who I love and feel very close to. My fiancé has an equal number of guys (6 groomsmen and 2 best men) that he came up with independent of who I chose; he loves these guys and wants them all up there with him. Here’s the thing, though – since we actually started the planning process, it’s become apparent that we can’t afford even the modest 100-person event we thought we would have; instead, we have had to downscale to a small wedding with about 60 guests. Also, our wedding will be fairly casual – outdoors at a local vineyard. Now I feel silly with such a huge bridal party and such a small wedding. Realistically, I could downscale to 5 (3 BM’s and two MOH’s), but I really would not want to go lower because those last five (including his sister) are girls I’m extremely close to. Obviousy I should have waited to ask, but I can’t go back and change that (sigh).
So: Should we just accept that our wedding will look at little “different” and embrace our huge bridal party? Or should we un-ask three on each side to make it a little more appropriate to the event? (I hate the thought of un-asking and am not even sure how we would word it, but I’m just throwing it out there to see what you all think.)
I’m not super-worried about costs of having this many in our party because I think we will be able to come up with meaningful gifts without breaking the bank, and I hate that I am even thinking about what I “should” be doing based on typical wedding etiquette. Still, I can’t help but think it’s going to feel strange having a third of our guests standing up with us.
Any advice you all have would be much appreciated! Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
That does seem like a big bridal party for a relateively small wedding. It’s a good problem to have that many close friends, though!
If I were you, I would keep them all since you already asked and they already accepted. I would maybe try to make it a more casual bridal party since that would fit your venue/style, anyway – like maybe they could all wear a dress of their choice instead of matching dress (that’s what my girls are all doing – their own LBDs).
Post # 4
P.S. Welcome to the hive and hello, fellow Northern Virginian!
Post # 5
That does seem like an overwhelmingly large bridal party for that number of wedding guests, but that being said, I don’t think it’s a problem if you and your FI both want to honor all those people!
Post # 6
Keep them and don’t worry about how it looks.
Post # 7
Thanks, everyone! I appreciate the advice! And Fairy Penguin, it’s cool that you’re a fellow NoVA-er! 😉
Post # 8
might seem a little overwhelming with a huge wedding party, buts its your day and you can have it look however you want 🙂
plus i think asking bm’s to step down might create unwanted drama
Post # 9
I think it will be fine! Yes it will seem like a large portion of the guests are in the bridal party, but that’s okay. As long as you both feel you have who you want up there with you that is all that matters. Plus keep in mind that it only really is noticeable during the ceremony. After that, they’re just guests who are all dressed alike and have to take more photos. 😉
Post # 10
I am no help because I did the exact same thing! I was too excited and didn’t fully think it through. So, I’m in the same dilemma.
Post # 11
I’m assuming that these girls would be invited to your wedding, regardless, so what’s the difference if they’re standing up beside you rather than sitting in a chair watching? I would keep them! Plus, if you’ve already asked them I wouldn’t want to deal with the drama of asking them to step down. Good luck!
Post # 12
Im going to have 7 when I get married, my man and I have a large group of friends, and some of my friends, became his, and vice versa. And its a drama- free group. I dont care what anyone else thinks, I say go for it girl! They shouldnt care what it looks like if they are going to cash in on the free food and booze! lol