Post # 1
I am in a bit of a dilemma here. I have 6 bridesmaids. My 2 close cousins, a friend of mine and FI’s and his 3 sisters. The wedding party is already too big with 12 people, but I really wanted to include my step-sister. We were really close when our parents first got together, but ended up eventually not seeing each other as often and we grew apart. I didnt include her in my bridal partyand not only do I feel bad for not including her, but I feel like maybe she may be slightly hurt. I only got to pick 3 girls for my bridal party and I picked my cousins who I am very close with and a close friend of FI’s who I have also become friends with. I really don’t want to go overboard on the bridal party, but having to include both FI’s sister and his SIL kind of limitied my choices for my bridal party. I guess you can say I am kind of resentful towards FI right now. I gave him 1 person to include in his groomsmen, and I had to include his 2 sisters and SIL. Meanwhile he got to include everyone that he wanted to on his side. To be honest I really rather would have not include one of his sisters(She even went through a period where she was angry that we were getting married before her so she refused to do anything to help!). I do want to make FI happy though so I included all 3 of them. FI already thinks we have too many people in the bridal party and I agree.
Is there any other way that maybe I can honor her? Is having 7 bridesmaids really too many? Are wedding is more on the small side with 110 people and FI arged that if we have to keep including all these people in the wedding party we are going to have a wedding party with no guests.
Post # 2
Personally, I think not including your sister is not right. If it were me I would be hurt. My suggestion would be to take a good look at your budget and figure out how to have her involved and I would also reach out to her again. You were close once, you could be close again. Meet up with her or have her to stay with you for a weekend. She’s family and if you can help it, don’t let family drift. This is a relationship you could really make flourish if you wanted to and this wedding is the perfect opportunity to regain what you once had. If it is purely financial then I would see what costs you could cut elsewhere to allow you have a larger bridal party. Family matters and I can tell, however much you have drifted apart, your step sister still means a lot to you. Go with that so you don’t come to regret it later.
Post # 3
Add your step sis if you want. 7 BMs is not too many. Heck you already have 6! You can include her by having her read something durinb the ceremony.
I don’t get why you let your fiance bully you into adding his sisters and SIL to your bridal party. Immediate family is included in the formal pics anyway not sure why people choose them for the BP too.
Post # 4
FutureMrsGeek: My Step-sister and I are not close anymore. When we were 11-15 we were extremely close. However her mother and I got into a fight and she stopped speaking to me. A few years ago though we all put everything in the past and began talking again, but her and I still arent close. So when I needed to choose my bridesmaids I had limited choice and only chose the 3 people who are closest to me. My dad really wants us to be close again so he awkwardly sets us up to do things together. I would like to be close to her too. Recently her and my step-mom have told me though that they would like to be included when I go dress shopping. So this got me thinking about how now I really would like to include her.
CurlyCue: I didnt let him bully me. His family is close and I love him so he really wanted his sisters included so I included them. I was just resentful about doing so. I figured it wasn’t fair for me to ask him to include my brother and then not include his sisters. Also it was easier to include them all then face the wrath of FMIL.
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2015 - Backyard
I am a BM in a wedding later this year. The wedding will include 8 BM and GM because of the size of the bride and groom’s families, but the guest list is only 75 last I heard.
It depends on the wedding, and the people involved. If it’s right for you, have a huge wedding party. For me, the number is 6, including the bride and groom. For Stephanie, the number is 18. As long as you’re having fun, it’s okay to keep adding. When it gets to the point that you KNOW it isn’t worth it to have a huge wedding party, take your FI to dinner and very sweetly put your foot down.
Post # 6
I would include your stepsister if she wants to be in the wedding. I’m in a similar situation, but it’s my parents (mom and stepdad) trying to limit the bridal party. I want to include my friends and my stepsister even tho we aren’t super close, but we use to be and my mom thinks it’s a bad idea afraid she won’t show or something. Do what u think is right I have had to (kindly) put my foot down and gently remind everyone it’s my wedding
Post # 7
I have 8 bridesmaids & 8 groomsmen in my wedding party plus a junior bridesmaid. It works for me. People are always surprised by how large my wedding party is but nothing negative & I’ve stopped caring what people say other than my fiancé. It’s my wedding day & I want it to be perfect. But also if you guys aren’t close anymore, I don’t think she would be upset that she wasn’t a bridesmaid. I wouldn’t expect to be asked to be a bridesmaid by someone I had kind of grown apart from. In the end, it’s your wedding so do what you want.
Post # 8
IMHO i think 6 bridesmaids and groomsmen are too many. Wedding parties are getting out of control!!! I think you can offer her another important position on that day, like your personal dress attendent, or something. That way she can dress up, be in a lot of photos, help you with your dress, etc, and you do not have to add another bridesmaid. I also don’t understand having to have certain people your fiancee wants there. It’s all out of control. It doens’t have to be girls are only bridesmaids and guys are only groomsmen anymore. I would have said if you want your sister, she can stand with you, etc. I know, I’m very opnionated on this topic and feel very differently than most people. Just my honest opinion though.
Post # 9
idontknow: Maybe you could ask her to do a reading?
I know how you feel about obigations to have FI’s family in the bridal party, I have 3 brothers and asked my FI to include them and since we didn’t want a huge bridal party he had to not have two friends as groomsmen.
If you feel though that you’d really regret not having her has a bridesmaid in the future just ask her and don’t worry about the number!
Post # 10
Just have seven bridesmaids. I had six in my own and went to a wedding where there were 12 on each side. Do what makes you happy! It’s YOUR (and your fiance’s) day!!
Post # 11
idontknow: Don’t worry about how many you have, if you are happy with your choices. I have 7- sure its a bit big, but it’s also fun!! I went to a wedding earlier this year and the bride had 11!!! (that was a little much in my opinion..)
If you don’t have her as a maid though, she could do a reading and even get ready with you. That way she’s still part of the rehearsal and all of the events. But IMO, what’s one more!!