Post # 1
Going anonymous for this one. I feel like I’m not close enough to my BMs and I’m making a joke of myself by having them on the altar. I don’t know what to do.. here’s the rundown.
MOH 1: Sister
MOH 2: Best Friend
BM 1: FSIL
BM 2: Close Friend
BM 3: Semi-Friend since preschool. She asked me to be her MOH in her wedding, so I felt like I had to. I’ve known her forever, so it’s no big deal.
BM 4: Semi-friend since high school. Roomed with her at camp. See her 2-3 times per year. Rarely talk.
BM 5: College Semi-friend, but sort of unsure about this one. Always too busy, pretty self-centered. Talk sort of often, but only about school/job search etc.
What the heck do I do? I guess I just suck it up and deal. I just hate that my lifelong photos will have girls I’m barely friends with. Stupid. I guess this is more of a vent than anything. Should I organize some activites to get all the girls together so I feel closer to them??
Post # 3
7 attendants is a lot. Why did you ask numbers 4 and 5 to begin with if you consider them ‘semi-friends’?
Post # 4
@cmbr: I was wondering the same thing!
Post # 5
Just out of curiosity, why did you ask them in the first place?
You’re sort of stuck with it now 🙁
I think some sort of girls night would be really nice, and might make you feel better about the situation 🙂
Post # 6
@cmbr: +1. My thoughts exactly.
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
If your wedding day isn’t until March 2016 then I highly recommend waiting until March 2015 to set your bridal party in stone. A lot can happen in three years.
Based on your current list I would have MOH 1, MOH 2, and BMs 1, 2, and 3 only. It doesn’t sound like you are that close with 4 and 5 so why deal with the additional drama of having them as BMs?
Post # 8
I would cut them if they havent spent any money yet. I would say I have too many bridesmaids (could be true bc 7 is a higher #!). If they arent close to you then they should understand. They might even be relieved!
Post # 9
why did you ask BM 4 and 5?
even 3? just because you are in her’s doesn’t mean she has to be in yours.
is your wedding really in 2016? you asked way to far in advance. you should ask anywhere from 9-12 months before because friendships change.
Post # 10
I didn’t even notice your wedding date — if that’s real, you are picking your bridal party waaaaaay too early. I’d recommend like 9 months before because relationships can change so quickly.
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I think organizing some activities to get together with them would be a good idea!
When is your wedding? Is that date anywhere near close? Do they have dresses yet?
I’m guessing you want to continue to be friends with the last two, so telling them you just have too many people and want them to attend as guests isn’t the best option. If you don’t think you will be friends for very long, then it is an option to ask them to step down- just be prepared for some backlash. If you did ask them to step down, I would just say to them “I chose bridesmaids too early in my planning and now that I’ve thought about it, I realized that I have way too many people in my bridal party- it’s becoming too much to keep up with. I would of course love it if you continued to be involved with the wedding, but I would prefer that you attend as a guest instead of being in the wedding party”
Post # 12
@cmbr: I don’t think the date is real. She said she’s going annonymous.
Post # 13
@TheMoreTheMerrier_Nevermind: Yeah that’s a lot of people. What was your motivation in choosing that many? If your wedding isn’t for a few more years, I would try to cut down the amount and blame it on budget or something. Or just say you got ahead of yourself and didn’t realize how difficult it would be to coordinate a group that large, and would like to make it smaller.
Post # 14
@TheMoreTheMerrier_Nevermind: I think you should ask them if they are sure they want to be in the bridal party, or if they would rather attend as a guest. Maybe they don’t want to be a bridesmaid?
I think everyone has bridesmaids they lose touch with. I asked my BFF, my sister, my SIL, and two friends that I never see anymore. Oh well. 🙂
Post # 15
My wedding is actually this September. We haven’t ordered bridesmaids dresses yet (I know, I really need to get on that). I initially asked the girls in Sept ’11, right after getting engaged. Which I also acknowledge was wayy too early.
I had no intentions of having that many. In fact, at first I thought I would have only 3. (MOHs and SIL). I just let my excitement get the best of me. I questioned BM 4 if she really wanted to be in my party (seeing as I haven’t seen/heard from her in ages.) And she was very excited responding, “Oh yes, absolutely” and I haven’t heard from her since… I sort of want her to step down considering I’ll never see her again, but I don’t know how to broach the subject of, “Oh hey, I know I asked you to be in my bridal party, but lets be honest, we never talk, we never see each other, and we know nothing about each other’s lives. This is stupid.”
@Bazingau: Exactly. lol
@mrshunnybunches: That definitely makes me feel not so bad.
Post # 16
Honestly. I think it’s too late to ask someone to step down if you’re getting married in 4 months without seriously hurting feelings.
If you don’t feel close to them, make it a point to call or email at least once a week. Reach out to them yourself, don’t hang back and wait for them.