Post # 1
My FI and I finished our guest list and we are over where we want to be by 100 people! Now, I know not all 255 guests will show (we are hoping for 150-160) Most of my friends and family are from the west coast and the wedding is in NY. The problem is with MY coworker guest list. I work in a very close knit office of about 60 people. Out of those 60 people I would say a good 35 of us hang out outside work. So, if I invited all of them it would be 35 plus guest… 70 COWORKERS! Ouch! Now, in a perfect world (or should I say economy) no prob but, things are much different than they were last year as they are for many of us. With that being said, how do I cut back the list without offending or hurting anyones feelings? Also, I work in an environment where you invite one you have to invite them all but, not inviting ANY isn’t an option. ERRRRRRRRR!!! Such a sticky spot for me!! Many people assume they are invited and say comments to me all the time!! They have even given me their addresses for save-the-dates and invites! (without me asking) Since I haven’t sent out any informal or formal invites yet am I safe?? What would you suggest??
Post # 3
I am having a similar prob. My 60 guest destination wedding keeps growing hypothetically larger because of all the people assuming they are invited.
I think you are OK as long as you haven’t played along with them when they handed you an address. BTW I cannot believe that people actually went that far! Whenever anyone asks me about my wedding I just make sure to say "its going to be very small with close family". Trying to give them discrete warning that they night not be included. Some people just don’t get the hint though!
One thing we did do was have a huge engagement party (Casual, backyard BBQ) and invited lots of people that we do not plan to invite to the wedding. This gave them a chance to celebrate with us and maybe not feel so slighted when they don’t get an invite. With work friends, I’m planning on just going out with the girls to celebrate one night.
Post # 4
I’m in the same boat with you guys, although I can’t believe someone actually gave you their address so you can send them the Save the Date. As soon as I told co-workers one of them came up and asked me point blank if she was invited. I wish I could invite at least half of the teachers I work with but you know it adds up especially with the +1. UGH.
Post # 5
I know what you mean. I’ve been stressing about this very issue lately, especially for the group that sits near me because they’re hearing me work on wedding plans every day! I feel like they deserve it for putting up with me!
I know that it’s not the best ettiquette, but we’re having a first and second round of invites — an A-list and B-list, if you will. Our families and closest friends are on the first list, and as they RSVP, we’ll send out invites to the B-listers.
I’d love to invite everyone, but with a huge familiy (150 from our families alone!) and a small venue that can hold 200 tops, we have to cut somewhere.
Post # 6
At my office, I work in a tiny department, with just 3 people. However, I’m in a job where I get to know everyone, and really like a lot of the people I work with!
I decided early on that I would invite my department (2 people), and not invite anyone else. Similar to what you said, if I invite 1 or 2 people in a certain department, it would seem rude not to invite all 8 of them along with their spouses.
Its hard, but what I’ve been doing way before it was time to send save the dates is repeating to people that I’m having a REALLY small wedding and that we have a LOT of family members. I think it’s helped people get the message. You may need to see if there’s a logical cut off point. Like I have two bosses, for example. I’m much closer to one of my supervisors, and I felt bad considering not inviting the other boss until it hit me one day that he seriously didn’t even know my fiance’s name. He’s out, and I fretted for a bit, but realized that he’s the type that probably would have been uncomfortable at my wedding anyway.
Post # 7
Thanks for your input everyone…. I appreciate it!! Let me ask one more question…..If I do have their address (even the ones I DID ask for LOL) is it beyond rude of me if i don’t end up inviting them and say something along the lines of " more family members are able to attend than we originally thought so we had to cut back on our friend guest list" blah blah blah?????? Yikes! I probably shouldn’t of talked about the wedding so much at work but, I can’t help it! Thanks again!
Post # 8
I’m in the same boat. I can’t invite all my coworkers and their husbands. I know this isn’t etiquette, but another coworker that just got married last summer didn’t invite their spouses. My coworkers said they had a good time and were glad their spouses couldn’t go. This way they didn’t have to worry about trying to find a babysitter. I’m pretty sure I’m going down this route as well.