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Too many for the church, but not for the reception...?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
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    1.
    Member
    167 posts
    Blushing bee
    JoyfulBee    June 26, 2011   San Jose

    Here's the deal: The church that we've booked can seat only about 145 people, but it seems like the guest list is exceeding that.

    So, I was wondering, what happens when we can't cut the guest list enough? Do we tell some guests that hey, we just want them to show up to the reception? Do we just tell them when they show up to the church, "You should have come earlier"? Or maybe just, "Tough luck!"

    I understand that not everyone we've invited will come, but what if most of them come, and there's not enough space?

     
    2.
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    785 posts
    Busy bee
    sunnydebs    8/7/10   Washington, DC

    I think the best thing you can do is cut your guest list down.  If that's not possible, consider inviting some people only to the reception.  You'd need a different invitation for that, though.

    You could also just have some guests stand in the back of the church, but that could get uncomfortable.

     
    3.
    Hostess
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    Bumble
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    MightySapphire      

    It could be considered very rude to invite people only to the reception.  If you can avoid that by cutting your guest list down, that would be the best way to go.  Otherwise you risk offending the guests who weren't invited to the wedding--which is the whole reason you're celebrating the day anyway!

     
    4.
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    Bee Keeper
    PrncssDva    October 16, 2010   Memphis, TN

    Try to get the guest list down. How many people were you planning on sending invites to? You can always start a B list for when the first set of people can't come.

     
    5.
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    2,217 posts
    Buzzing bee
    monitajb    July 17, 2010   Sacramento

    How long is your service? Have you asked your church how they handle this issue at Christmas and Easter? If you aren't having a long service, they may be okay with people standing.

     
    6.
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    Bee
    2,648 posts
    Sugar bee
    sewing    July 2010   SF Bay Area / Oahu

    i have the same issue. though luckily i think a lot of mr. sew's family won't show up to the ceremony since their particular tradition is to only send 1 person from each family to represent at the ceremony. i have no idea why, but i guess that works. do you know if everyone normally attends both?

     
    7.
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    2,684 posts
    Sugar bee
    Goldilocks1107    September 2010   Madison, WI

    We're inviting most of our guest list to the reception only. But I think you could risk "stepping on toes" unless you have very specific guidelines (like only family for the ceremony - friends are only invited to the reception). We're (hopefully) avoiding hurt feelings by only inviting immediate family (parents, siblings and grandparents) and wedding party SOs to the ceremony (which equals 30 people). The other 170 people are invited only to the reception.

     
    8.
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    4,281 posts
    Honey bee
    roxy821    August 21, 2010  

    What does your guest list look like? How many more people than 145 are you inviting? You will find a lot of people don't go to the ceremony so let's say 20% of your guest list replies no and then another 15% of those people don't go to the ceremony. If you started at 200 guests you would be at 136 guests.

     
    9.
    Member
    167 posts
    Blushing bee
    JoyfulBee    June 26, 2011   San Jose

    I think most of my parents' side of the guest list is mostly for politeness... and there might be a chance that they won't come.. But those who go to the ceremony usually go to the reception, as well.

     

    However, my fiance and I have a lot of friends, too! 

     

    We're thinking of explaining to our friends about the church issue, and just asking them to show up and party with us. 

     

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