Post # 1
My future mother-in-law completed the “preliminary guest list” on her side and it’s around 250 people. My list is around 80 people. I am really getting stressed. Has anyone planned a wedding with that many people in attendance? Any advice? AND how much did you spend?
Post # 3
The decision about how many guests to invite is generally the bride and grooms. You and your FI should decide together how many people you can afford/want to invite and then decide how you want to divide the guest list in terms of what percentage of the guests each of you gets. Personally, I think having your FMIL just go off and start creating a guest list is the absolute worst thing you can do. How much wedding can you guys afford is the better question? and how does that amount limit you as far as guests…
Post # 4
We asked for her help with my fiance’s family list, but I think it’s just too many people. She assured us that most of them won’t even come.
Post # 5
You SOOOOO cannot go on the assurance that most of them will not come. What if they do???
She needs to put them into an A and B list. Do you even know these people? Have you met them? We’re not allowing anyone we don’t really know or whom we aren’t close with to attend.
Your list is 80…does that mean your side of the family?
Post # 6
Are you planning on sending invites to all 330 people? It’s always a guessing game when it comes to inviting people…you always run the risk of everybody coming. If you guys can afford a wedding for 330 people…go for it. Depending on your area…it could get pretty expensive. I think the avg wedding for 100 – 150 guests can be anywhere from 10,000 to 30,000. Of course if you are DIYing things and making other cuts, etc. you can do it for less…many bees have. I personally wouldn’t recommend inviting more than 10 to 20 people more than you actually want to come. That way, you have a hope of staying within whatever budget you guys end up setting.
Post # 7
I am confused. Do you want to have a wedding with 300+ people? Are the finances there to pay for that size of wedding?
I guess my advice is to figure out what size wedding makes the most sense for you and FI. I personally made this decision with my FI based on our wants and finances available (who is contributing?, how much?).
I go by the rule that if we invite them, we should expect for them to attend the wedding because it really could happen!
For us we decided on a wedding with 130-150 guests. The guestlist has been hard to control, and I have learned to be assertive with my Mom, MIL etc… To help control the guestlist we are not including guests for people that are not in relationships and no kids under 12. We have also eliminated some more distant family friends and aquaintance friends from the list.
Good luck with this. The invite list has been tough for me so I understand!
Post # 8
We’ve had the same problem with both sets of parents. How big do you want your wedding to be? Our venue fits 400 but we certainly don’t want anywhere near that!!! We made a total list, then broke it down to a his & hers. Our parents have added people we haven’t seen in 20+ years, neighbors, etc. that neither FI or I would ever add. We individually sat down with our own parents and told them that they’d have to kick in for the people they’ve added because we simply can’t afford it.
Those additional people aren’t “our” guests, they’re our parent’s guests. Basically everyone’s paying for their own guests.
Post # 9
My future mother in law did the same thing-she invited family members that live accross the country that my Fiance has never met, and that she has not seen in over 25 years. (not to mention inviting her ENIRE neighborhood, and more)
I am a little stressed, because we need to stay at 125 guests, and we still have college friends and co-workers we would like to invite.
I would love any feedback/advice-I am assuming that the majority of the people on her list will not attend, but I don’t want to bank on that and go over in my guest count.
How may guests did you/are you sending invites out to compared to your desired guest count?
Post # 10
… that is a TON of people. That’s more than we’re inviting, and that doesn’t even include your side! Is she paying for all these people, plus the extra centerpieces, flatware rentals, ect? How many were you planning on inviting?