Post # 1
We weren’t planning on having a rehearsal dinner, but my aunt offered to host it for us at a restaurant near where we are getting married.
We’re also having a smaller wedding (only inviting about 60 people), and I did a preliminary invite list for the rehearsal dinner, and I’m up to 30 must have people! This is only our bridal party, our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. The first place I would think to cut back is with his aunts and uncles, but Uncle #1 is in our bridal party, so we have to invite Aunt #1 and Cousins. That only leaves Aunt & Uncle #2, so we can’t not invite them. And if we’re inviting Aunt #1 + family and Aunt + Uncle #2 and his grandparents, we have to invite his Great-Aunt as well. And I only have one aunt, who is throwing said rehearsal dinner, so there’s just NO room to cut anyone!
I feel bad because I think my aunt imagined something a bit more intimate, but this is why I didn’t want to have a rehearsal dinner – because we had so many must invites that it feels like the entire wedding!
Has anyone else run into this problem? Too many must haves when you’re trying to keep it intimate?
Post # 3
Talk to the aunt who’s hosting and see what she thinks. She’s the hostess, so really it’s up to her how big a party she’s willing to host…not you. But it wouldn’t at all be out of line for you to bring up your concerns with her about the guest list issue (then you can know for sure what she’s thinking too).
We had a smaller wedding (also around 60) and most had to travel so it felt weird to leave anyone out, but there was no way we could basically host two receptions for everyone. We decided to have a bbq at the park the day of the rehearsal and invited everyone. It also gave us more time with people and everyone really enjoyed it.
Just saying that as an example that a rehearsal dinner doesn’t need to be small, fancy, or expensive…but you have to work out with your aunt what will make both of you happy.
Post # 4
we had a similar sized wedding and had 20 at the RD – i can see where you’re coming from but as i learned…pick your battles! =)
Post # 5
I have the same problem as you, so I would be interested in the solution! We are inviting about 100 people to our wedding, but they are all close family members and they all feel they should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. Plus, many of them are included in the ceremony so leaving out the ones who aren’t seems a little rude….
Post # 6
I’m going to see my aunt this Sunday at my engagement party, and see what her opinion is, as she did volunteer to host.
Post # 7
we went back and forwarth on whether to have just our bridal party at a nice restaurant or all of the oot guests at my fi’s parent’s house. we opted for all of the oot guests, so we’ll be having a big rehearsal dinner too, but we’re keeping it cheap by having it at his parent’s home. maybe you can find a more inexpensive place to host it.
Post # 8
Argh, we are in the same boat but on a different scale. My mom wants to invite all of out town guests (mostly family) to the rehearsal. This would mean about 100 people out of the 175 invited!