Weddingbee boards

Hi all,

I'm getting married in May, so we're working on our final (cross your fingers) guest list.  Our reception hall seats 160 (the max), but my fiance comes from a HUGE family.  Our guest list is already over 200 and his mother would still like to invite more.  I'm really uncomfortable with the number as it stands now, for fear that we'll have a high acceptance rate.  I'd hoped for a small wedding, so this big guest list makes me very nervous.  How many people should I expect to RSVP?  Is our guest list too big?  Any advice is appreciated.  Thank you bees!

Your RSVP rate will depend on a few things: how many out of towners, is it a holiday weekend, and just plain randomness. You should expect anywhere from 70-85% of people to RSVP yes. It's all guess work. 

But really, that is not the main issue here. You need to have a heart to heart with your FH and tell him your concerns. Try not to sound dramatic but bring up numbers. If you can leave his mom out of it, that is always helpful. If this proves to not be helpful, you may just have to be a hard ass.

This is your and your FH wedding. Over 200 people invited to a space that holds 160 is asking for trouble. So start cutting. If you don't have A, B, C lists in order of importance, start there. When drama arises (and I am sure it will) stay calm and point to our space limits. That won't change and no one can argue with that.

If you don't want to cut too many folks, maybe you can cut out plus-ones to only married, engaged or living together. that may help. Some people cut children. Whatever seems best to you. If your true vision for your wedding was a small gathering, focus on that. I think most brides who don't (nicely) stand up for themselves regret it in the end.

Our rule is that if we haven't personally met you and spoken with you (we have been together for over 4 years), they aren't invited. I didn't want strangers congratulating me on my wedding day. Good luck. :)