Post # 1
Background: All my relatives (and my Maid/Matron of Honor – sister) live about three hours upstate from me. That would probably be too far for my relatives to drive down to a bridal shower, so I was thinking of leaning on my Maid/Matron of Honor to throw a shower for me up there for the benefit of my grandmas / aunts / etc. All my friends and coworkers (and my other 3 BMs) live close to me. One of those BMs is itching to throw a shower down here for me. I can also pretty much guarantee someone will throw a shower at the office for me too.
1. I heard it’s tacky for a relative to throw a shower, but if most of the people attending my sister’s upstate shower are relatives anyway, is that so bad?
2. My Bridesmaid or Best Man down here wants a list of ladies to invite to the shower she’s throwing. Should I include my coworkers, even though there might be an office shower? Or maybe just my few closest coworkers?
3. What the heck is wrong with me for possibly having three showers?!?!
Post # 3
I think it’s okay as long as a close relative like a parent isn’t the one hosting the shower. I would not invite the same people to different showers. The only people that should go to multiple showers are your BMs and the mothers.
Post # 4
For sure no one will be invited to both showers. FI’s mom will certainly not be coming to the one upstate. Is it expected that my mom will be at both showers?
Post # 5
It’s not expected that your mom has to go to both. If it isn’t convienient for her to go, that’s fine.
Post # 6
Here’s the thing, personally I’m one of those people who thinks you should put your registry not on the invite but at least no the map or something if you’re not going to have a wedding website. Am I going to do this no because I feel so much damned pressure about what is and isn’t tacky so now I have to create a freaking website just to have my registry info up . . . sorry for the rant it drives me nuts all this what’s tacky and what’s not tacky, it’s so hard to keep up with!
I could see 3 showers being a bit too much BUT ONLY if you had overlapping invites, lets say I was a friend of yours, we’re close but not super close oh my god it’s her birthday and if I miss it she’s going to kill me close more like oh i can’t make it you’re bummed i’m bummed but not the end of the world bummed. It might get a bit much if I’m invited to 3 showers, however I would NOT include a work shower in this count because those are a little more low key. As far as co-workers go I’d say if you’d invite them to a dinner party or birthday party or something fun like that then you could consider inviting them to the shower or if they’re invited to the wedding, if not then I wouldn’t think it was necessary.
Post # 7
I think you’re good. Especially if the guest lists for each of the showers don’t mix too much. Counting my work shower it’s likely there will be a total of four showers. We’ll probably do separate showers for his family and my family because both families are so big. My Maid/Matron of Honor will throw a couple’s shower (really more of an excuse to sit around and drink) and then there will be the work shower. There may be some people invited to one of the family showers and the couple shower, but those will be limited and super close folks. Other than that the lists won’t overlap.
I think what you’ve got going is totally fine.
Post # 8
Thanks for the reassurance. Good rule of thumb inviting people to the shower that I’d invite to my birthday party. Also good to know I’m not the only one having more than one shower!